Activism Change

For Us "Elderly" Folk

Question:

I received the article below this morning. It’s an interesting insight for those of us over 50. Nick — "Norhing is so strong as gentleness and nothing is so gentle as real strength" ~ Ralph W. Sockman ___________________________________________________________________________ _ _______________________________________________ Finally, It’s ‘My Time’ A Period Once Considered Retirement Age, the Author Argues, Is Now a Time to Refresh, Revive and Reimagine One’s Life By by Abigail Trafford Washington Post Staff Writer Tuesday, December 16, 2003; You’re restless. Not so young, but restless. What are you going to do with the rest of your life? You don’t look old, don’t feel old. But the kids are grown. The house is quiet. And at work? Talk of downsizing, takeovers, the R-word — retirement — and then, what? You can expect to live, and live well, for another three or four decades — an entire life span in centuries past. Instead of winding down, you have to gear up. Instead of sitting back in a rocking chair, you have to find new purpose — new work, new relationships. Longevity’s imperative is regeneration. But how do you master the art of reinvention? Bernard Hillenbrand of Washington knows. The hard-charging executive, who for decades led the National Association of Counties, went to seminary and became a minister at age 60. Eighteen years later, he’s in good health and a good marriage. "I have 20 years to go," he says with a smile. Aida Rivera of Puerto Rico knows. The high school dropout went to college when she was nearly 50 and earned a college degree to become a therapist at age 60. She now counsels women who are trapped in domestic violence. "Nothing stopped me," she says. "This is my life. I love it. In helping others, I am helping me." Mary Page Jones knows. The Alexandria native remarried at age 52, moved to Jerusalem and joined the peace movement in the Middle East. "I’ve always come up to the abyss and stepped over. A lot of it is my faith. When I step into the abyss, my experience is that I’m always caught. Something good happens," she says. But they didn’t know when they started down their new paths where they were going to end up. They didn’t know they were part of a huge demographic wave that is altering every aspect of the social landscape, from politics and sex to family life to the creative arts. A new stage has emerged in the life cycle. This bonus period comes after middle age but before old age. "It’s not like we have a lot of role models," says James Firman, president of the National Council on the Aging. The bonus decades are a "gift — years of opportunity, years of health," he continues. But no one told you that you have to write a new script for this "extra" period. "The concept hasn’t sunk in. . . . We’re all lost as a generation." It is not an easy period. There are layoffs and mammograms, retirement parties and forgetting where you left your keys. There are wrenching losses, too. Deaths of family members and close friends. Major illness. The loss of income, the loss of status in a culture geared to youth. For most people, this new phase involves some crisis and a lot of confusion. Yet it also heralds unprecedented possibility. In the early, high-stress years of juggling children and marriage and job, you get pretty exhausted from meeting other people’s needs. As one thirty-something woman wailed at a college class reunion: "When is it going to be my time?" My Time! It’s here. Get used to it. And then get ready for the ride. My Time comes when the primary tasks of adulthood have been completed, for better or for worse. Children have been raised. Marriages have been made — and remade. Career goals have been achieved — or not. You’ve paid the mortgage, filled out your r

Filed under: Peace movement

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