Activism Change

Sigh… last day trauma

Question:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – <gently snipped ::And I still feel badly that I did such a poor job on that writing ::sample. I know I’m a perfectionist about that area of my life.. but I ::won’t settle for half assed writing out of myself when it matters. I ::think I’ll go to bed.. I know this isn’t even comparable to what a lot ::of you all are going through. I also know everyone’s pain is valid.. I ::am sooooo disappointed in me on several levels, and I want to let it ::go, but I’m struggling tonight. Dear Sally, I`m really sorry it is your last day at a job you truly loved. I feel you went over and beyond the call of duty for this man. I wish you could see that instead of beating yourself up because ‘you’ don`t feel you did a good enough job on the writing sample. I have no doubt it was fine. It`s just your perfectionism talking. It hurts when someone you`ve bent over backwards to be nice to, doesn`t appreciate or acknowledge your efforts, and doesn`t give you the reference you deserve. Healing thoughts being sent your way. (((((Sally))))) Jackie ~*~Would you respect my mind more if it bounced gently when I walked?~*~

Hey Jackie, I did love that job, and everyone there was so nice to me. Oh man. Such a nice work environment.  I did go out of my way for him, and that "it’s not fair" feeling has raised it’s ugly head a few times — because he was in a position to reciprocate, and he didn’t. Well, not a lot I can do about that one. Not that I know, anyway.  I will explain the situation to the rehab people, that’s all that I can do. I really  ..well, I feel like I needed that letter of referral… especially since I’ve been out of the workforce for YEARS. It was important… at least, I am thinking that it is right now. We will see what happens in the future.  It’s not under my control what he did, so.. I just play the cards I am dealt. Thanks for understanding Jackie. Now and always. Sally — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi, Sally, By writing the resume it shows you have employable skills…  And the boss has his own agenda to fulfill. "writing for me is kind of like a wrestling match with my brain.. trying to convey the right thoughts and using the correct words.. " – Sally, I do the same thing and I feel it’s taking pride in my work so the same for you…  I think you did him an invaluable service by correcting what he had given you to type for him.  Once again your skills come shining through! It does seem he took advantage of you knowing you had more expertise in this area than he.  Let the guilt fall on his shoulders not yours because down the road he has to put writing into his on words.  It will then show on his part. Have a great day. smiles, Elise

Hi Rita, I noticed the positives.. as in .. I have a skill that people could possibly want.  LOL My luck it’s something that causes anxiety though. Let’s just say I won’t be applying for any positions where the job description includes the words "writing" and "deadline". I did him a big service. Yes I did. Several of them, too.  Well. Karma or reaping what you sow — that stuff is real, and I don’t actually KNOW him well enough to know if he uses people, or if that was desperation (he is out of a job as well).. No comment. I don’t know the real truth, and it’s probably not in MY best interest to speculate.. but as the Magic 8 Ball would say, "The signs point to yes." I do think he used me. It won’t be me that comes back on, and I learned from it, so that’s worth something. Yes.. pride in my work.  I don’t take pride in everything I do, just some things.  Thank God, LOL. Seems that taking pride in your work can be a bit of an inconvenient PITA, at least, the type of "pride" I have – but I still think it’s important.  It is to me about some matters. I’ll write you, I’ve had you on my mind. Love, Sally — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

Response:

My son had a similar experience in Middle School.  He used a word in a paper that he wrote, and the teacher confronted him and told him that she knew he had plagerized.  He wouldn’t even know how to.. he’s really a good kid, and that thought wouldn’t even occur to him.  It really shook him up to be falsely accused like that. Traumatic.

You know what? I’m still mad about cooking class. One of the answers on a test was "three times", so I wrote "thrice", and was marked off for it. I told the teacher, "Thrice means three times," and no one in the class knew what I was talking about, and the teacher didn’t know what I was talking about, so I got marked down for it. How about them apples? Of course, it’s a bit odd to still be angry about something <mumble mumble years after the fact (I’m bad at math) (and I’m tired) (and my almost-girlfriend <crossing fingers didn’t want to come up and hang out after the AA meeting), but anyway, that really sucked. To think I made her muffins one day. Ian — http://sundry.ws/ — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – My son had a similar experience in Middle School.  He used a word in a paper that he wrote, and the teacher confronted him and told him that she knew he had plagerized.  He wouldn’t even know how to.. he’s really a good kid, and that thought wouldn’t even occur to him.  It really shook him up to be falsely accused like that. Traumatic. You know what? I’m still mad about cooking class. One of the answers on a test was "three times", so I wrote "thrice", and was marked off for it. I told the teacher, "Thrice means three times," and no one in the class knew what I was talking about, and the teacher didn’t know what I was talking about, so I got marked down for it. How about them apples? Of course, it’s a bit odd to still be angry about something <mumble mumble years after the fact (I’m bad at math) (and I’m tired) (and my almost-girlfriend <crossing fingers didn’t want to come up and hang out after the AA meeting), but anyway, that really sucked. To think I made her muffins one day. Ian — http://sundry.ws/

Ian, Maybe your mind is on her muffins, and that is the problem. That is so bad.. not knowing "thrice"??  Well, I’ve seen people on television that couldn’t answer the question "Who is the President?" so..yeah, I believe a non thrice knower exists.  I’m sure those people know things I don’t even have a clue about. I mean, their minds are on something. Not thrice or who the President is..but they are using their brains in some way.  Isn’t that like..a law of nature or something? That your brain has to learn something sometime? You don’t look bad knowing thrice.. don’t be mad.  Just ignore ignorance.. I’m ignorant of so much.. the more I know, the less I know. Sally — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – My son had a similar experience in Middle School.  He used a word in a paper that he wrote, and the teacher confronted him and told him that she knew he had plagerized.  He wouldn’t even know how to.. he’s really a good kid, and that thought wouldn’t even occur to him.  It really shook him up to be falsely accused like that. Traumatic. You know what? I’m still mad about cooking class. One of the answers on a test was "three times", so I wrote "thrice", and was marked off for it. I told the teacher, "Thrice means three times," and no one in the class knew what I was talking about, and the teacher didn’t know what I was talking about, so I got marked down for it. How about them apples? Of course, it’s a bit odd to still be angry about something <mumble mumble years after the fact (I’m bad at math) (and I’m tired) (and my almost-girlfriend <crossing fingers didn’t want to come up and hang out after the AA meeting), but anyway, that really sucked. To think I made her muffins one day. Ian

I’m still pissed at Mrs Johnson (5th grade), for many reasons — these two are pertinent to the subject at hand: 1.  Assignment in class: write a simple sentence, using a proper noun, an adverb and a verb.  I wrote "Jacqueline quietly waited."  Later in the class, Mrs Johnson said, "A couple of you didn’t do this right," and she wrote on the board, "Jacqueline quietly wailed," and said, "Deirdre used an adverb that didn’t go with the verb."  I protested that I must have forgotten to cross my T in "waited", but she told me not to make excuses when I’m wrong. In front of the whole class. 2.  I chose "Jane Eyre" for a book report, and she said it was not 5th grade reading. I did it anyway. There were no errors in it, but she marked me down a grade point because I chose "the wrong book." I really hated Mrs Johnson. Deirdre — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

Response:

Hey you all, I guess I will post this. I’m not even sure what I’ll say, but I have some news. Good and bad. Today was my last day at work.  Some good things happened over the past couple of weeks, and somethings bother me.. My boss asked me if I knew how to write a resume.  I used to teach people how to write resumes. So the answer to that was "yes.".. I updated a client’s resume, and the next thing I knew, my boss was having me write stuff for him.. because he was about to be out of a job, and he was applying to a lot of different places, and I guess he liked my work. Don’t know how to say this without sounding.. egotistical. I write well. Not in here. I know that.  I know what good writing is, and I don’t do it here, and I don’t in email, but if I bothered to write WELL in here, it would take too damn long, because writing for me is kind of like a wrestling match with my brain.. trying to convey the right thoughts and using the correct words.. too much work, actually. Yes. I can write. In college, I had literary journals on display in the library. My step dad won a Pullitzer Prize and he was a newspaper copyreader and columnist. My mother was a teacher, and I do not remember a time I could not read. English was a big DEAL in my home. whew. My boss had me type something for him the other day — he was applying to be an officer in the United States Army, and he brought me a paragraph. I do not know who wrote it. A woman that wrote, "love you" at the end of her email sent it to him. He did not write it, but he asked me if I would type it for him. Well, I couldn’t let him submit that thing – it was horribly written. It think there were only two sentences in that paragraph. There should have been more like..five. No punctuation. Run on, ON run on sentences, Awkward wording.. just.. so bad. You all, I write better in here than that woman wrote for my boss’ application to be an OFFICER in the ARMY – and he was going to turn that in. I freaked. I typed it for him, but I also fixed it.. I rewrote and reworked that thing, and gave mine to him along with the other one.  I think I made an impression. Today, I uh.. had to rewrite his resume (He is the employment director, I’m supposed to "file" things LOL) anyway..I sort of fixed it. I wish I’d had a week, and not 4 hours. I told him I could continue to work on it for him, from home if he liked, no charge.  I may or may not hear from him.  He had asked me to generate a final report for the office. I did. I also generated one just for him on my own..I took the numbers, and kind of skewed the statistics (lied) .. I made him look pretty good, if I do say so myself. Damn good. Better than he is, LMAO.  He asked me to include that in his resume, and I did. I also had to do something I’m not at all comfortable about.  He was also applying for a position .. the best I could tell, it was a job with a union does a lot of political lobbying.  Whew. Like I even know anything about that sort of thing!!!??? (I know nothing and want to know nothing about that kind of thing – willfull ignorance, you bet) Well. I just didn’t have the time to write anything very good.. I was VERY dissatisfied with what I gave him, and I told him that was a rough draft, to please not turn that in..  The first rule of writing is to know what the hell you are talking about, and I honestly didn’t, so I was doomed from the start. The part I don’t feel comfortable with is that the job he was applying for wanted a sample of HIS writing.. and it wasn’t his writing. It was mine, and a piss poor sample of mine, too..  I don’t feel right about the fact it was supposed to be his writing and not mine. Yes, I am one of those that do not lie on my taxes or on job applications.. I don’t do it, because I don’t like that kind of thing. I don’t care to help someone else do it either, but I did it the best that I could in the time I had to do it. Sometimes.. proper (not casual stuff, like in here) writing doesn’t flow and I have to wrestle with it.. and I’ve always had the luxury of walking away when that happens, and coming back later when my mind is fresh, and I am able to rework everything like it needs to be so that it flows and does what it is supposed to do.  Anyway.. I feel bad he asked me to do that, and I feel bad that I didn’t like what I gave him. I’ve never had that experience in my life. No one but me has ever seen a rough draft of anything I’ve written.. it’s just personal. I don’t know if anybody even understands what I am talking about??  REAL writing to me is extremely personal, and it’s like.. don’t look at it until I feel that I am DONE with it.. does anyone, anywhere KNOW what I mean by that? Shit. I don’t know if I feel worse that I wrote something for someone who should have done it himself, or if I feel worse for writing such an ill written piece of utter crap.  Do you see WHY I do not write very much? See what I do to me when I write..? I do this until I am finally satisfied. The pay off to that is.. if I am satisfied with something I have written, other people usually are impressed with the quality of it.. so there is a payoff, but it’s a bitch to get there. Well.. to top that off. I did all of that shit in FOUR hours..(and I did this at minimum wage.. not a cent more)  I was driving home, still trying to word that writing sample (that I shouldn’t even have written) in my head so it didn’t sound like an idiot wrote it..  Y’all know what?  Wanna know something? I asked my boss a few days ago for a letter of reference.. I got nothing.  It’s not that I sucked. I obviously didn’t if he wanted me to fix his resume and write his "sample"…  It’s that he didn’t bother to even do that.. and I don’t feel right about writing my own and sending it to him. I have to work every waking hour just to let any positive stuff IN my head, I think I’d die if I had to write a letter that I actually DO deserve to have. I would. And I still feel badly that I did such a poor job on that writing sample. I know I’m a perfectionist about that area of my life.. but I won’t settle for half assed writing out of myself when it matters. I think I’ll go to bed.. I know this isn’t even comparable to what a lot of you all are going through. I also know everyone’s pain is valid.. I am sooooo disappointed in me on several levels, and I want to let it go, but I’m struggling tonight. Thanks for listening Sally — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

Response:

Sally!  I just don’t understand.  You’re obviously such an intelligent person, it’s a shame that your boss made such boneheaded moves.  I know it’s early, but I am so confused by this whole thing.  I’m sorry you’re going through this, especially since you seemed so happy with the job. I am here if I can help at all – the inbox is always, always open! I hope you have a nice Sunday, Katie — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

Response:

Sally!  I just don’t understand.  You’re obviously such an intelligent person, it’s a shame that your boss made such boneheaded moves.  I know it’s early, but I am so confused by this whole thing.  I’m sorry you’re going through this, especially since you seemed so happy with the job. I am here if I can help at all – the inbox is always, always open! I hope you have a nice Sunday, Katie

Thanks, Katie. It’s not pleasant, but it will be okay.  I have a lot of thoughts I’m not really at liberty to discuss, but I think I may have an idea or two about my boss.  No biggie.. the thing is.. if he was using me, he can’t anymore, so I’m better off. Too bad, though. The people I worked with were so nice I would just love to work in an atmosphere like that – doing anyhing is okay. It’s the atmosphere that I have to have .. nice, calm, friendly, safe.. Not some stressed out place where people fight all of the time. I can’t take that.  None of us can. That’s the whole point. Sally — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

Response:

Hi, Sally, I’d say he was a desperate man seeking employment for himself.  He used the resources he knew of – you being one of them.  Maybe he’ll find a good job and you can know that you were a part of that (though he shouldn’t have put you in that position to begin with). smiles, Elise

I don’t wish him ill.  He’s got kids and a wife — and jobs are scarce.  He was very respectful and went out of his way to make sure that I was comfortable and okay. It doesn’t change the last week or so, but all the info is valid, and not just the bad stuff.  He’s capable of a lot. I’m beginning to think maybe I am too, if I can get a break. smiles back to you dear Elise Sally — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

Response:

<gently snipped ::And I still feel badly that I did such a poor job on that writing ::sample. I know I’m a perfectionist about that area of my life.. but I ::won’t settle for half assed writing out of myself when it matters. I ::think I’ll go to bed.. I know this isn’t even comparable to what a lot ::of you all are going through. I also know everyone’s pain is valid.. I ::am sooooo disappointed in me on several levels, and I want to let it ::go, but I’m struggling tonight. Dear Sally, I`m really sorry it is your last day at a job you truly loved. I feel you went over and beyond the call of duty for this man. I wish you could see that instead of beating yourself up because ‘you’ don`t feel you did a good enough job on the writing sample. I have no doubt it was fine. It`s just your perfectionism talking. It hurts when someone you`ve bent over backwards to be nice to, doesn`t appreciate or acknowledge your efforts, and doesn`t give you the reference you deserve. Healing thoughts being sent your way. (((((Sally))))) Jackie ~*~Would you respect my mind more if it bounced gently when I walked?~*~ — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Wow, Sally, your boss is kind of a dope. A nice dope, but a dope nonetheless. I think what you wrote for him is just fine. If it’s too good, it’ll be obvious when he gets the job that he lied, and he’ll be out a job. I once wrote the first para of an essay for an ex-gf (gf at the time) and when she turned it in, the prof told her, "I know this is out of a magazine, and when I find out which one, you’re expelled." Well, he never found it, and she’s got a PhD now, so, the moral of the story is … I have no idea. I’m just trying to get to sleep, and there are boats going through here *constantly*, even though it’s midnight. The bells are ringing on the drawbridge, and if it’s not them, it’s the bells on the railroad swing bridge, and if its not them, it’s a loud boat horn. I hate the world! *That’s* the moral of the story. Life is a real bummer, and in the whole scheme of things, getting that writing sample perfect is just small stuff, and don’t sweat the small stuff. Sweat sweat. That’s what it’s there for, to be sweated. But don’t sweat too much, or you’ll have to take a shower, and that’s an annoying process. Where am I going with all this? Back to bed, I suppose. Hope you’re well, Ian — http://sundry.ws/

Hey Ian, From what I wrote, I know my boss does sound like a dope, but he’s a

very intelligent guy.  I am sure he is capable of writing anything that he wants to. I can’t speculate. I don’t understand why he’d want someone else to do it for him, because it’s not gray matter he lacks. My son had a similar experience in Middle School.  He used a word in a paper that he wrote, and the teacher confronted him and told him that she knew he had plagerized.  He wouldn’t even know how to.. he’s really a good kid, and that thought wouldn’t even occur to him.  It really shook him up to be falsely accused like that. Traumatic. I was LOLing about you and I.  You could have a PhD and I could be an army officer, since we write so impressively. You may want to be a PhD, but I’d go off and hide at Di’s in Canada if the Army came for me, even as an officer. Or worse, some union that does political lobbying. I’m sure there are other things I want to do with my life.. not either one of those. You are right.. that writing sample was small stuff.  Not a biggie. I think I’ll survive it. Sorry about the noise levels. I deal with that too.. one of my neighbors is too young, and has too much fun, IMO. Getting cantakerous in my "old age." Sally — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – And I still feel badly that I did such a poor job on that writing sample. I know I’m a perfectionist about that area of my life.. but I won’t settle for half assed writing out of myself when it matters. I think I’ll go to bed.. I know this isn’t even comparable to what a lot of you all are going through. I also know everyone’s pain is valid.. I am sooooo disappointed in me on several levels, and I want to let it go, but I’m struggling tonight. Thanks for listening Sally Hi Sally, I can certainly relate to much of your writing comments. Like you, I distinguish between my casual and serious (proper) writing. When I am serious about writing, the process does feel like a wrestling match is going on within my brain. Like you, I tend to get stressed and frustrated when time pressure is involved. Try not to be too hard on yourself. I usually can’t do any serious writing in hours, always a matter of days, weeks or months for me. Also, don’t forget that anxiety and stress tend to cause cognitive dysfunction which interferes with thinking straight and making good judgment calls. Sudden episodes of stress can knock us off balance and cause us to behave in atypical ways. Remember, a true perfectionist perfectly understands that they are not perfect.

A cover letter or writing sample.. maybe a day or maybe two for me.  I mean a presentable one. A very good one, longer.. You are right.. The stress of the deadline played a part. so did the fact that I don’t know much about unions, and I sure don’t know anything about political lobbying.. trying to write from the perspective of a man I barely know, LOL it’s funny when I think of it now, actually. Uh.. no wonder I had such a time I didn’t know my subject, my audience, my personae – LOL. With the deadline looming over me. I get it now. may I say…DUH!? One of my favorite rules of writing is, "First write badly!" When writing first drafts, the most important thing is to simply put the ideas into text. Editorial skills just get in the way at this point and are best postponed for later drafts.

I do write badly.. have you never read my posts? LOL. I do understand what you are saying.. I jot down thoughts..create a rough outline, write horrible sentences in Sallyspeak, – only I know what I mean by them.  –It gets more complex from that point. I was in the middle of working on the syntax and semantics when I had to turn that in that writing sample, about the worst possible time to be forced to let anyone see what I had written. One of a writer’s worst nightmares is not having time to properly finish a final draft. When we take pride in our writing and invest a good portion of our identity into it, final drafts can have a big impact on our mood. Nonetheless, try to temper you mood in this case with the knowledge that you did improve upon the bad drafts you were given. You may not have met your own critical standards, but you did exceed the standards of others.

I’ll say. Two sentence paragraphs give me a serious case of the icks. That’s it.. I’ve got my identity strongly tied to my writing.. I could go into it, but it’s too long. I know why I am like this. I’m not a big Steven King fan, but I did like his story "Misery." The story’s symbolism is healthy dark-humor for writers in my opinion.

Arthur, "Misery" is actually a good analogy.  Yes it is.  I felt like I was in that very position yesterday.  My boss was the crazed fan, wanting me to create something I didn’t even WANT to – but I was the one doing the torture, LOL to myself.  I need to reread that book again, but I’m going to wait awhile I think. BTW, "Misery" IS full of symbolism and such a good glimpse into the creative process.. I do think that in some (not all – read "The Stand") of his writing.. King’s pushed himself when maybe it wasn’t there to crank out. – Sort of like me, yesterday. Maybe he’s too prolific for his own good.  For a time, I thought it was greed, but I don’t anymore. I think that Misery was his commentary about the place he finds himself..  a victim of the fact that he is in such demand – and what that would do to you psychologically if you thought that you HAD to produce and HAD to come up with the next best selling novel.  Man, yesterday was enough for me, I don’t ever want to be popular or have fans.. come to think about it, it’s best if no one ever knows I can write at all. i kant reed or rite. My motto from now on with anyone who wants to use me like that again.  He both complimented me and used me. Very weird. I’m not going too far into thinking on that one. It could go places I’d rather not go. My personal web site is a mixture of bad and good writing. When I look back at my earlier writing I find myself moaning with embarrassment. However, for reasons of documentary integrity I refuse to rewrite such material as that would distort who I was and how I expressed myself at the time. Writing can be very therapeutic and teach us much about ourselves. In this sense, I think our worst writing can be as valuable as our best writing. Best Wishes, Arthur

I understand.  I have written things at critical times in my life that weren’t for anyone but me.. I’m in half  mind to change and "fix" them, (because I could make them so much better! LOL – you DO have to know when and whether to edit at all – and when to STOP editing, too)  and the other half of my mind says to never touch them.. they need to stay like they are for historical purposes.  It wouldn’t be right to change a thing. I won’t touch them. Thanks Arthur, Sally — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

Response:

Hi, Sally, I’d say he was a desperate man seeking employment for himself.  He used the resources he knew of – you being one of them.  Maybe he’ll find a good job and you can know that you were a part of that (though he shouldn’t have put you in that position to begin with). smiles, Elise

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi, Sally, By writing the resume it shows you have employable skills…  And the boss has his own agenda to fulfill. "writing for me is kind of like a wrestling match with my brain.. trying to convey the right thoughts and using the correct words.. " – Sally, I do the same thing and I feel it’s taking pride in my work so the same for you…  I think you did him an invaluable service by correcting what he had given you to type for him.  Once again your skills come shining through! It does seem he took advantage of you knowing you had more expertise in this area than he.  Let the guilt fall on his shoulders not yours because down the road he has to put writing into his on words.  It will then show on his part. Have a great day. smiles, Elise Hi Rita, I noticed the positives.. as in .. I have a skill that people could possibly want.  LOL My luck it’s something that causes anxiety though. Let’s just say I won’t be applying for any positions where the job description includes the words "writing" and "deadline". I did him a big service. Yes I did. Several of them, too.  Well. Karma or reaping what you sow — that stuff is real, and I don’t actually KNOW him well enough to know if he uses people, or if that was desperation (he is out of a job as well).. No comment. I don’t know the real truth, and it’s probably not in MY best interest to speculate.. but as the Magic 8 Ball would say, "The signs point to yes." I do think he used me. It won’t be me that comes back on, and I learned from it, so that’s worth something. Yes.. pride in my work.  I don’t take pride in everything I do, just some things.  Thank God, LOL. Seems that taking pride in your work can be a bit of an inconvenient PITA, at least, the type of "pride" I have – but I still think it’s important.  It is to me about some matters. I’ll write you, I’ve had you on my mind. Love, Sally — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

– The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

Response:

Hey you all, I guess I will post this. I’m not even sure what I’ll say, but I have some news. Good and bad. Today was my last day at work.  Some good things happened over the past couple of weeks, and somethings bother me..

I wish I had some words of wisdom.  I just think your boss is an ass. Tony — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

Response:

I really hated Mrs Johnson. She marked you down for reading a book above your grade level? What, is she trying to do "controlled teaching", whereby you learn at a certain rate, and if you exceed that rate, you get marked down?

I don’t think that was it.  I think it was a personal thing with her — I chose something that was over HER head.  Seriously.  I was in the accelerated learning track, so one would think choosing a Bronte over, say, "Misty of Chincoteague" would be a positive thing. People are loons, Deirdre. The only difference between normies and people with some form of mental or emotional illness is … we know it, and they don’t. Ian

Plus I’m pretty sure she wasn’t entirely human. There was a rumor she had batwings.  I’m just sayin’. Deirdre — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

Response:

I still kind of cringe, when I think of it, even if I got another opinion that I valued highly that I wasn’t a horrible, terrible, awful person.

Well cringe no more, Sally, because the Stones were indeed blacker than the Beatles, except when Billy Preston was playing with them. "Don’t Let Me Down" is a pretty soulful song. That teacher was just on a trip, and if we let every tripping person affect our lives, we’d be full of anxiety and be panicking on occasion. (He says knowingly.) Ian — http://sundry.ws/ — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

Response:

I really hated Mrs Johnson.

She marked you down for reading a book above your grade level? What, is she trying to do "controlled teaching", whereby you learn at a certain rate, and if you exceed that rate, you get marked down? People are loons, Deirdre. The only difference between normies and people with some form of mental or emotional illness is … we know it, and they don’t. Ian — http://sundry.ws/ — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

Response:

I have just one thing to say: When I think back on all the crap I learned in high school, it’s a wonder I can think at all. — Paul Simon Deirdre, the Derider — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

Response:

I’ve seen people on television that couldn’t answer the question "Who is the President?"

Ooh. Might be denial. <running, ducking Ian — http://sundry.ws/ — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – My son had a similar experience in Middle School.  He used a word in a paper that he wrote, and the teacher confronted him and told him that she knew he had plagerized.  He wouldn’t even know how to.. he’s really a good kid, and that thought wouldn’t even occur to him.  It really shook him up to be falsely accused like that. Traumatic. You know what? I’m still mad about cooking class. One of the answers on a test was "three times", so I wrote "thrice", and was marked off for it. I told the teacher, "Thrice means three times," and no one in the class knew what I was talking about, and the teacher didn’t know what I was talking about, so I got marked down for it. How about them apples? Of course, it’s a bit odd to still be angry about something <mumble mumble years after the fact (I’m bad at math) (and I’m tired) (and my almost-girlfriend <crossing fingers didn’t want to come up and hang out after the AA meeting), but anyway, that really sucked. To think I made her muffins one day. Ian I’m still pissed at Mrs Johnson (5th grade), for many reasons — these two are pertinent to the subject at hand: 1.  Assignment in class: write a simple sentence, using a proper noun, an adverb and a verb.  I wrote "Jacqueline quietly waited."  Later in the class, Mrs Johnson said, "A couple of you didn’t do this right," and she wrote on the board, "Jacqueline quietly wailed," and said, "Deirdre used an adverb that didn’t go with the verb."  I protested that I must have forgotten to cross my T in "waited", but she told me not to make excuses when I’m wrong. In front of the whole class. 2.  I chose "Jane Eyre" for a book report, and she said it was not 5th grade reading. I did it anyway. There were no errors in it, but she marked me down a grade point because I chose "the wrong book." I really hated Mrs Johnson. Deirdre

I wrote a comparison/contrast essay on the Beatles and the Stones for a comp class IN COLLEGE once. I made the sore mistake of writing that the Stones’ music was "blacker" (this was BEFORE "African American" became the PC term) than the Beatles music.. meaning, the roots of the Stones music were basically founded in R&B and Blues – traditionally, uh.. there weren’t a lot of white guys doing that genre of music. And that also was one very good reason the Stones were controversial in the FIRST place – becuase they played music most the entire white world had never even HEARD.. it was a major point when I contrasted that with, "I Want to Hold your Hand"..  My teacher made me feel like I’d said something that was very racist… Put a big red circle around the word "blacker" and asked indignantly just WHAT I meant by that (for anyone curious, this was a white teacher)  I felt just horrible about it for several years until I mentioned it to my friend Sandra – who was not only a tenured Lit Prof in the same college, but she was also a huge Stones fan – met them even.. I showed her my essay, and she liked it. She told me that other teacher was a fucking idiot.. I’d thought I was soooo bad for writing something like that.. it wasn’t me. It was her. She didn’t know what I meant, had no idea where I was coming from. She was in the right age range to maybe?? have heard something?? about the Beatles and the Stones, but apparently.. not much.   Her ignorance, not my "prejudice" – which I never meant in the first place.  I still kind of cringe, when I think of it, even if I got another opinion that I valued highly that I wasn’t a horrible, terrible, awful person.  It’s pretty bad to be falsely accused.  Especially about something like that. You want to just curl up and die. Or as they say on South Park, "You go to hell and you die!" LOL. Sally — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

Response:

Wow, Sally, your boss is kind of a dope. A nice dope, but a dope nonetheless. I think what you wrote for him is just fine. If it’s too good, it’ll be obvious when he gets the job that he lied, and he’ll be out a job. I once wrote the first para of an essay for an ex-gf (gf at the time) and when she turned it in, the prof told her, "I know this is out of a magazine, and when I find out which one, you’re expelled." Well, he never found it, and she’s got a PhD now, so, the moral of the story is … I have no idea. I’m just trying to get to sleep, and there are boats going through here *constantly*, even though it’s midnight. The bells are ringing on the drawbridge, and if it’s not them, it’s the bells on the railroad swing bridge, and if its not them, it’s a loud boat horn. I hate the world! *That’s* the moral of the story. Life is a real bummer, and in the whole scheme of things, getting that writing sample perfect is just small stuff, and don’t sweat the small stuff. Sweat sweat. That’s what it’s there for, to be sweated. But don’t sweat too much, or you’ll have to take a shower, and that’s an annoying process. Where am I going with all this? Back to bed, I suppose. Hope you’re well, Ian — http://sundry.ws/ — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

Response:

 I’m just trying to get to sleep, and there are boats going through here *constantly*, even though it’s midnight. The bells are ringing on the drawbridge, and if it’s not them, it’s the bells on the railroad swing bridge, and if its not them, it’s a loud boat horn.

I get plenty of noise distractions in the city. Kids playing just outside my door, sometimes singing. People having noisy parties nearby. The neighboring couple having screaming matches. Passing cars blasting booming music that rattles my windows. The dreaded jingle of the ice cream truck stopping on my street. A produce truck that loudly announces prices with a bad PA speaker. And the occasional block-party where the street noise becomes so loud I can’t hear myself think. (groan) Best Wishes, Arthur — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

Response:

And I still feel badly that I did such a poor job on that writing sample. I know I’m a perfectionist about that area of my life.. but I won’t settle for half assed writing out of myself when it matters. I think I’ll go to bed.. I know this isn’t even comparable to what a lot of you all are going through. I also know everyone’s pain is valid.. I am sooooo disappointed in me on several levels, and I want to let it go, but I’m struggling tonight. Thanks for listening Sally

Hi Sally, I can certainly relate to much of your writing comments. Like you, I distinguish between my casual and serious (proper) writing. When I am serious about writing, the process does feel like a wrestling match is going on within my brain. Like you, I tend to get stressed and frustrated when time pressure is involved. Try not to be too hard on yourself. I usually can’t do any serious writing in hours, always a matter of days, weeks or months for me. Also, don’t forget that anxiety and stress tend to cause cognitive dysfunction which interferes with thinking straight and making good judgment calls. Sudden episodes of stress can knock us off balance and cause us to behave in atypical ways. Remember, a true perfectionist perfectly understands that they are not perfect. One of my favorite rules of writing is, "First write badly!" When writing first drafts, the most important thing is to simply put the ideas into text. Editorial skills just get in the way at this point and are best postponed for later drafts. One of a writer’s worst nightmares is not having time to properly finish a final draft. When we take pride in our writing and invest a good portion of our identity into it, final drafts can have a big impact on our mood. Nonetheless, try to temper you mood in this case with the knowledge that you did improve upon the bad drafts you were given. You may not have met your own critical standards, but you did exceed the standards of others. I’m not a big Steven King fan, but I did like his story "Misery." The story’s symbolism is healthy dark-humor for writers in my opinion. My personal web site is a mixture of bad and good writing. When I look back at my earlier writing I find myself moaning with embarrassment. However, for reasons of documentary integrity I refuse to rewrite such material as that would distort who I was and how I expressed myself at the time. Writing can be very therapeutic and teach us much about ourselves. In this sense, I think our worst writing can be as valuable as our best writing. Best Wishes, Arthur — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

Response:

Hi, Sally, By writing the resume it shows you have employable skills…  And the boss has his own agenda to fulfill. "writing for me is kind of like a wrestling match with my brain.. trying to convey the right thoughts and using the correct words.. " – Sally, I do the same thing and I feel it’s taking pride in my work so the same for you…  I think you did him an invaluable service by correcting what he had given you to type for him.  Once again your skills come shining through! It does seem he took advantage of you knowing you had more expertise in this area than he.  Let the guilt fall on his shoulders not yours because down the road he has to put writing into his on words.  It will then show on his part. Have a great day. smiles, Elise – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I guess I will post this. I’m not even sure what I’ll say, but I have some news. Good and bad. Today was my last day at work.  Some good things happened over the past couple of weeks, and somethings bother me.. My boss asked me if I knew how to write a resume.  I used to teach people how to write resumes. So the answer to that was "yes.".. I updated a client’s resume, and the next thing I knew, my boss was having me write stuff for him.. because he was about to be out of a job, and he was applying to a lot of different places, and I guess he liked my work. Don’t know how to say this without sounding.. egotistical. I write well. Not in here. I know that.  I know what good writing is, and I don’t do it here, and I don’t in email, but if I bothered to write WELL in here, it would take too damn long, because writing for me is kind of like a wrestling match with my brain.. trying to convey the right thoughts and using the correct words.. too much work, actually. Yes. I can write. In college, I had literary journals on display in the library. My step dad won a Pullitzer Prize and he was a newspaper copyreader and columnist. My mother was a teacher, and I do not remember a time I could not read. English was a big DEAL in my home. whew. My boss had me type something for him the other day — he was applying to be an officer in the United States Army, and he brought me a paragraph. I do not know who wrote it. A woman that wrote, "love you" at the end of her email sent it to him. He did not write it, but he asked me if I would type it for him. Well, I couldn’t let him submit that thing – it was horribly written. It think there were only two sentences in that paragraph. There should have been more like..five. No punctuation. Run on, ON run on sentences, Awkward wording.. just.. so bad. You all, I write better in here than that woman wrote for my boss’ application to be an OFFICER in the ARMY – and he was going to turn that in. I freaked. I typed it for him, but I also fixed it.. I rewrote and reworked that thing, and gave mine to him along with the other one.  I think I made an impression. Today, I uh.. had to rewrite his resume (He is the employment director, I’m supposed to "file" things LOL) anyway..I sort of fixed it. I wish I’d had a week, and not 4 hours. I told him I could continue to work on it for him, from home if he liked, no charge.  I may or may not hear from him.  He had asked me to generate a final report for the office. I did. I also generated one just for him on my own..I took the numbers, and kind of skewed the statistics (lied) .. I made him look pretty good, if I do say so myself. Damn good. Better than he is, LMAO.  He asked me to include that in his resume, and I did. I also had to do something I’m not at all comfortable about.  He was also applying for a position .. the best I could tell, it was a job with a union does a lot of political lobbying.  Whew. Like I even know anything about that sort of thing!!!??? (I know nothing and want to know nothing about that kind of thing – willfull ignorance, you bet) Well. I just didn’t have the time to write anything very good.. I was VERY dissatisfied with what I gave him, and I told him that was a rough draft, to please not turn that in..  The first rule of writing is to know what the hell you are talking about, and I honestly didn’t, so I was doomed from the start. The part I don’t feel comfortable with is that the job he was applying for wanted a sample of HIS writing.. and it wasn’t his writing. It was mine, and a piss poor sample of mine, too..  I don’t feel right about the fact it was supposed to be his writing and not mine. Yes, I am one of those that do not lie on my taxes or on job applications.. I don’t do it, because I don’t like that kind of thing. I don’t care to help someone else do it either, but I did it the best that I could in the time I had to do it. Sometimes.. proper (not casual stuff, like in here) writing doesn’t flow and I have to wrestle with it.. and I’ve always had the luxury of walking away when that happens, and coming back later when my mind is fresh, and I am able to rework everything like it needs to be so that it flows and does what it is supposed to do.  Anyway.. I feel bad he asked me to do that, and I feel bad that I didn’t like what I gave him. I’ve never had that experience in my life. No one but me has ever seen a rough draft of anything I’ve written.. it’s just personal. I don’t know if anybody even understands what I am talking about??  REAL writing to me is extremely personal, and it’s like.. don’t look at it until I feel that I am DONE with it.. does anyone, anywhere KNOW what I mean by that? Shit. I don’t know if I feel worse that I wrote something for someone who should have done it himself, or if I feel worse for writing such an ill written piece of utter crap.  Do you see WHY I do not write very much? See what I do to me when I write..? I do this until I am finally satisfied. The pay off to that is.. if I am satisfied with something I have written, other people usually are impressed with the quality of it.. so there is a payoff, but it’s a bitch to get there. Well.. to top that off. I did all of that shit in FOUR hours..(and I did this at minimum wage.. not a cent more)  I was driving home, still trying to word that writing sample (that I shouldn’t even have written) in my head so it didn’t sound like an idiot wrote it..  Y’all know what?  Wanna know something? I asked my boss a few days ago for a letter of reference.. I got nothing.  It’s not that I sucked. I obviously didn’t if he wanted me to fix his resume and write his "sample"…  It’s that he didn’t bother to even do that.. and I don’t feel right about writing my own and sending it to him. I have to work every waking hour just to let any positive stuff IN my head, I think I’d die if I had to write a letter that I actually DO deserve to have. I would. And I still feel badly that I did such a poor job on that writing sample. I know I’m a perfectionist about that area of my life.. but I won’t settle for half assed writing out of myself when it matters. I think I’ll go to bed.. I know this isn’t even comparable to what a lot of you all are going through. I also know everyone’s pain is valid.. I am sooooo disappointed in me on several levels, and I want to let it go, but I’m struggling tonight. Thanks for listening Sally — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

– The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

Response:

Filed under: Lobbying

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