Activism Change

College Funding

Question:

In article <2rxW4.1394$bc4.87…@news1.primary.net>, "ThomasAnn" <celeste1…@hotmail.com> wrote: > So what portion is the child responsible for?  Where is it written that > children are due a full ride to college by their parents?  A child is an > adult at 18.  Are they not considered responsible for any part of their > college expenses?  Just wondering…..

My ex and I had hoped our kids would be able to chip in with some expenses. So far, that’s not happening and we are picking up a lot of the tab for college (and yes, we could have done things differently). I think it is up to each family, child and the 2 bio parents, to decide who pays for what and that should be decided upon during the high school years so a child can start working and saving. We have it in the divorce decree that we are each responsible for 1/2 the college costs. I insisted on that even though we had a verbal agreement between us that this would be that way. We have one in college now and 2 more on the way. If I was to remarry (I lurk here because I am in a relationship with 6 kids between us and I may be a bona fide step parent soon), I would _definitely_ have a conversation about college or post high school schooling costs. They eat too much of a family’s budget to be ignored. And the Federal Financial Aid form wants the income of the parent(s) the child is living with – step, bio or whatever. The NCP’s income is _not_ considered by the feds. Private schools handle things a bit differently. At least that is what I have found. laura

Response:

    Because when you get divorced and ask the state to settle disputes, you give the state a say in the way the children are raised.  It is the state’s responsibility to make decisions for the benefit  of the children, as there isn’t anyone else solely representing their interests.  It is also in the states best interest.     If parents came to you (because they can’t agree) and said "we’re going to let you decide  who pays for college – both of us, one of us, the kid or you."  Would you pick you?  If you are making decisions for the benefit of the child, would you pick the child?     Parents that are married don’t ask the state to make decisions, so the state doesn’t have a say. Merrie ThomasAnn <celeste1…@hotmail.com> wrote in message

news:8ndW4.1291$bc4.78873@news1.primary.net… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I stated this earlier in another strand.  I could not sue my married parents > to pay for college.  Why is that a privileged for children of divorced > parents?  (Just a thought)

Response:

In a previous article, merri…@xcski.com (merrie) said: <    Parents that are married don’t ask the state to make decisions, so the <state doesn’t have a say. Parents who are divorcing and aren’t out to gut each other make the decisions too, and the state doesn’t have a say.  It’s only if you go to court that this kind of stuff happens. Vicki — Mediation and Alternative Dispute Resolution Resources: http://www.rit.edu/~vjrnts/mediation/mediation.html The alt.folklore.urban FAQ and archive can be found at http://www.urbanlegends.com/  

Response:

In article <8ndW4.1291$bc4.78…@news1.primary.net>, "ThomasAnn" <celeste1…@hotmail.com> writes: >I could not sue my married parents >to pay for college.  Why is that a privileged for children of divorced >parents?  (Just a thought)

Is it? I’ve heard it’s been *attempted* (a child suing a parent for child support and/or college expenses) but I don’t know that it’s ever been awarded. I think that it would be the other parent that would be the one that would have any sort of legal ground to stand on when it came to that. For instance, in our case, if DH’s ex contributed $2000 to one of the children for their college, I would think that *she* could take him to court for contempt charges if he didn’t also contribute $2000, but I don’t know if the child could do it. Tracey

Response:

    Yes my friend Blair sued his father for college tuition and won, thus setting the precedent for his three younger brothers.  This was before 1982, state of Washington. Merrie Tracey <rbranch…@aol.com> wrote in message

news:20000522182025.15975.00001792@nso-cg.aol.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> In article <8ndW4.1291$bc4.78…@news1.primary.net>, "ThomasAnn" > <celeste1…@hotmail.com> writes: > >I could not sue my married parents > >to pay for college.  Why is that a privileged for children of divorced > >parents?  (Just a thought) > Is it? I’ve heard it’s been *attempted* (a child suing a parent for child > support and/or college expenses) but I don’t know that it’s ever been > awarded. I think that it would be the other parent that would be the > one that would have any sort of legal ground to stand on when it came > to that. For instance, in our case, if DH’s ex contributed $2000 to one > of the children for their college, I would think that *she* could take him > to court for contempt charges if he didn’t also contribute $2000, but I > don’t know if the child could do it. > Tracey

Response:

I think just going out of State for college is a great idea.  But then, I think I also run across every single person who can’t understand the concept of moving or traveling. I’ve always been of the opinion that if you go out of the State (or Country, whichever) to get an education, not only do you get an education in school, you also learn about another culture/state. I’m a firm believer that you need to learn not everyone is the same and just because someone talks or acts differently, that doesn’t make them wrong. It also gives a kid more freedom away from mommy and daddy’s preying eyes.

Response:

ThomasAnn wrote: >I stated this earlier in another strand.  I could not sue my married parents >to pay for college.  Why is that a privileged for children of divorced >parents?  (Just a thought)

It isn’t a priviledge for children of divorce. Children can sue their parents for college expenses regardless of their parents marital status, but this isn’t what is being discussed here. The situation here isn’t the child sueing the parent. It is deciding if the parents will be responsible for paying for their child’s education. Hopefully this can be acomplished between the parents and the courts won’t have to get involved, but that isn’t always the case. What it comes down to, is seeing as the parents will not be together when the time arrives for the child to start college, it should  be decided upon when the marriage ends. Even my nephew (not the most admirable guy around) has in the papers he will pay for half of his daughter’s college education, after any grants or scholarships are recieved. Her mother will do the same. I believe they are setting up an account for the child and they will each contribute to it an equal amount every month. Any additional monies will need to be antied up, by both, upon starting college. Any overage (LOL, like that will ever happen with the rising cost of education) will be split evenly between the parents. Not all divorce decrees address college expenses, although I think they should. Even if it says that neither parent will be responsible for contributing. Regardless if parents are together or divorced, they need to let their child know *WAY* in advance of their graduation from HS as to what financial involvement they plan to have for the child’s secondary schooling. That way the child can join organizations, sports, etc. that may offer sholarships. They can save gift money. They can get jobs, etc. I think it is really unfair to a child for their parents to not let them know their intentions well in advance. It is also unfair to second wives for their DH to spring college expenses, for their existing children, on them. These are the kind of things that should be openly discussed *before* people get married. If I was to marry someone who already had children, I would ask to see the divorce decree and go over it thouroughly! Not that I would be looking to have it modified, I’d just want to know what would be expected of my DH in regards to his children. On the same wave length. If  one marries a parent of someone elses child that is directed to pay for a portion of their child’s college expenses (per divorce decree) then the new spouse has to deal with the fact that some of their DH’s income needs to be put aside, invested, etc, so when that day comes the money will be available. Those $$$ should be ignored, like they don’t exist, as they actually don’t when it comes to his second wife and any children born of that union. Of course it is unfair, as well, for the ex to come along and decide the child’s other parent should pay for college expenses at the last minute. If everyone knows up front what is expected of their spouses, when it comes to the existing children, there would be a lot less headaches, arguments and legal fees. Indy  

Response:

>Even my nephew (not the most admirable guy >around) has in the papers he will >pay for half of his daughter’s college education, after >any grants or >scholarships are received.

So what portion is the child responsible for?  Where is it written that children are due a full ride to college by their parents?  A child is an adult at 18.  Are they not considered responsible for any part of their college expenses?  Just wondering…..

Response:

In article <8ga2j0$ua…@allhats.xcski.com>, vjr…@xcski.com (Vicki Robinson) writes: >But there is absolutely no reason why you can’t have that kind of >specificity.

I agree that if you’re still hammering out the details in a divorce decree you can absolutely have that sort of thing put in there, but for those of us who are dealing with decrees already done and signed, do you think that that sort of thing can be hammered out at a later date? I think Renee is in a good spot to have it more specific for her and her husband’s situation if it comes down to going back to court about it, but I’m not too sure how that would work out with people who are already stuck with ‘50% of college expenses period.) Tracey

Response:

In a previous article, rbranch…@aol.com (Tracey) said: < <I agree that if you’re still hammering out the details in a divorce decree <you can absolutely have that sort of thing put in there, but for those of <us who are dealing with decrees already done and signed, do you think <that that sort of thing can be hammered out at a later date? I think Renee <is in a good spot to have it more specific for her and her husband’s situation <if it comes down to going back to court about it, but I’m not too sure how <that would work out with people who are already stuck with ‘50% of college <expenses period.) Well, it depends on the participants.  Remember that if one spouse is stuck with 50%, probably the other is too.  If I wanted to maliciously hang 50% of the cost of Harvard on my ex, I’d have to be willing to handle that load too.  (I know that some people would try to get away with saying "The financial aid applies to my half, you have to cough up the rest" but it seems to me that a short discussion with a lawyer would dispell that fantasy.)  To impose some limits on parental liablility benefits both families. Of course, some folks are up a creek in any case, but I think that it might be worth investigating for lots of others.  What’s to be lost in asking?  Just *don’t do it through lawyers if there’s any chance that you can talk to each other*. Rae, look into mediation; it’ll cost a lot less than going back to court. Vicki — Mediation and Alternative Dispute Resolution Resources: http://www.rit.edu/~vjrnts/mediation/mediation.html The alt.folklore.urban FAQ and archive can be found at http://www.urbanlegends.com/  

Response:

In DH’s divorce agreement, he and his ex are to contribute to post-secondary education according to their ability to pay. What a laugh. However, it seems that BM has chosen to interpret this to the children as 50/50 since the oldest (now 17 and in her second last year of school) has told relatives that she "won’t be going to university because mom can’t afford her half." The fact that Mom manages to afford so many other things just hasn’t been recognized by the children and I know, I just know who will be on the hook for all the bills when the time comes, even though we can’t afford even half right now. Vicki Robinson wrote: > Well, it depends on the participants.  Remember that if one spouse is > stuck with 50%, probably the other is too.  If I wanted to maliciously > hang 50% of the cost of Harvard on my ex, I’d have to be willing to > handle that load too.  (I know that some people would try to get away > with saying "The financial aid applies to my half, you have to cough > up the rest" but it seems to me that a short discussion with a lawyer > would dispell that fantasy.)  To impose some limits on parental > liablility benefits both families.

– To reply by email, change the house to a home.

Response:

I stated this earlier in another strand.  I could not sue my married parents to pay for college.  Why is that a privileged for children of divorced parents?  (Just a thought)

Response:

As you seem to be finding, nothing about the divorce industry is fair. If child support were actually spent on children, then you might argue that children of divorce are indeed privileged and it might make children in intact families start lobbying their parents to get divorced. <removing tongue from cheek> College funding for children of divorced parents is no different than anything else when it comes to divorce.  Parents in intact families are not ordered by law to do anything for their children except the barest minimum of care.  Divorced parents are court-ordered to provide all manner of things – health insurance (in the US), school clothes, medicine, dental care, etc. Actually, let me rephrase that. NCP’s are the ones ordered to do all of the above and more. CP’s are not held accountable for the spending… anyway, I am getting off on my favourite tangent and I don’t have the stamina to go there now. N. ThomasAnn wrote: > I stated this earlier in another strand.  I could not sue my married parents > to pay for college.  Why is that a privileged for children of divorced > parents?  (Just a thought)

– To reply by email, change the house to a home.

Response:

Filed under: Lobbying

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