People not commenting on weightloss

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I do, I do ! (but I’m a lurker there) I looooove to cook, and I like the recipes, and the conversations there. It’s just too busy a group to really participate, but I do enjoy that newsgroup very much ! — Nathalie from Belgium 134.1/120.4/2nd 10 % 108.5/Goal 68 Kg 295.6/265.4/2nd 10 % 239/Goal 150 pounds Halloween goal : 255 lbs/ 115.7 kg

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – hey, Kat…did you ever hang out on rec.food.cooking???? So far I have lost over 30lbs in 3 months. Still have 70lbs to go, but still I am down 2 dress sizes and it is obvious that I have lost weight. A few people have commented, said I looked great, but many, many more have said nothing, even the ones who know I am trying to eat healthier. My question is why do you think people do this? It would give me a real boost if more people commented, but most people say nothing. Does it take a really dramatic loss (say 60lbs or so) for people to really start commenting? Lisa There are so many reasons for this, I will only list a few. 1)  We are mostly so self-absorbed that we don’t notice other people changing.  If Santa came up to some people with a 50 pound loss and no beard, some people wouldn’t notice, or might ask if he got a new suit. 2)  Kindness.  After losing 35 pounds, I have gotten very few comments, and often they were couched in terms to cover health issues:  "You’ve lost weight–I hope it was on purpose?" 3)  Fear.  After being on this newsgroup for three years, I have noticed several threads where the ones losing weight felt that it was an attack when people attempted to compliment them.  Like a man chewed out for opening a door for a feminist, it makes one pause before commenting. 4)  Difficulty in phrasing it correctly.  If you attempt a compliment and it ends up sounding like an insult (as Amy said, sounds like you always looked terrible before), then the poor sucker may end up tasting Nike.  If you don’t say it, you don’t end up with your foot in your mouth. I could go on, but you get the idea.  It isn’t personal. Now, back to lurking. — kat ^.^< Rhinelander, WI USA Home of the Hodag Start date Nov 9, 2000 175.6/138.8/140 Made Goal Nov 8, 2001!!!!

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I do know she is more attentive to me now than before.  I don’t know if it is because I look better to her or she now has a better self image and feels sexier herself.  I won’t complain.

Bill, maybe it’s because you are radiating a healthier self-esteem?  Most women find that very appealing. — Amy ZR 163.5/133.5/HC: 130/124 Baby Jack’s homepage: http://home.attbi.com/~therorks/

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Having dropped my sinister point of view for a bit, I think, when people see you almost daily or daily it is not as noticeable. You can go away for a week and see those same people when you get back and they will "suddenly" notice you got skinnier.  It’s kind of like parents who will SWEAR their kid grew 2 inches at Summer camp! – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I have already posted, but just remember something that happened to me last week when I was working in the garden at the front of our house. A women walked by & looked at me, then asked "Have you lose weight?"  Now I have lost 115 pounds and she is just now asking if I have lost weight!!!  She is a regular on our street & I have been losing for a year – and she is just now asking if I’ve lost? Elaine K 331.4/214.4/179 So far I have lost over 30lbs in 3 months. Still have 70lbs to go, but still I am down 2 dress sizes and it is obvious that I have lost weight. A few people have commented, said I looked great, but many, many more have said nothing, even the ones who know I am trying to eat healthier. My question is why do you think people do this? It would give me a real boost if more people commented, but most people say nothing. Does it take a really dramatic loss (say 60lbs or so) for people to really start commenting? Lisa

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hey, Kat…did you ever hang out on rec.food.cooking???? – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – So far I have lost over 30lbs in 3 months. Still have 70lbs to go, but still I am down 2 dress sizes and it is obvious that I have lost weight. A few people have commented, said I looked great, but many, many more have said nothing, even the ones who know I am trying to eat healthier. My question is why do you think people do this? It would give me a real boost if more people commented, but most people say nothing. Does it take a really dramatic loss (say 60lbs or so) for people to really start commenting? Lisa There are so many reasons for this, I will only list a few. 1)  We are mostly so self-absorbed that we don’t notice other people changing.  If Santa came up to some people with a 50 pound loss and no beard, some people wouldn’t notice, or might ask if he got a new suit. 2)  Kindness.  After losing 35 pounds, I have gotten very few comments, and often they were couched in terms to cover health issues:  "You’ve lost weight–I hope it was on purpose?" 3)  Fear.  After being on this newsgroup for three years, I have noticed several threads where the ones losing weight felt that it was an attack when people attempted to compliment them.  Like a man chewed out for opening a door for a feminist, it makes one pause before commenting. 4)  Difficulty in phrasing it correctly.  If you attempt a compliment and it ends up sounding like an insult (as Amy said, sounds like you always looked terrible before), then the poor sucker may end up tasting Nike.  If you don’t say it, you don’t end up with your foot in your mouth. I could go on, but you get the idea.  It isn’t personal. Now, back to lurking. — kat ^.^< Rhinelander, WI USA Home of the Hodag Start date Nov 9, 2000 175.6/138.8/140 Made Goal Nov 8, 2001!!!!

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hey, Kat…did you ever hang out on rec.food.cooking????

Sorry, afraid not.  The way I cook, I’ve been warned off any cooking places! But you can find me in rec.arts.mystery most any day.  More appropriate to the way I cook. kat ^.^< not the best cook in the world…

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My question is why do you think people do this? It would give me a real boost if more people commented, but most people say nothing. Does it take a really dramatic loss (say 60lbs or so) for people to really start commenting? My husband (who is a little shy) has said that he doesn’t feel comfortable commenting on people’s weight loss simply because he feels that it sounds like he’s saying "You looked horrible before" instead of just "You look great now."  In a twisted way, this makes sense to me.

Also, in these litigious days, a man might worry about making a comment about a woman’s appearance, especially if it’s complimentary. Alabama Worley, Hightstown, NJ, USA 234.6 (May 8,2000)/176.0 (Oct 13, 2002)/169 (Halloween Challenge) Ho ho ho! Join the ASDWW Holiday Activity Challenge! http://mywebpages.comcast.net/alabamaworley

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Hey Bill, I completely understand ! I ‘ve lost more than 30 pounds and only one person commented on it ! But they will notice eventually, and I hope they’ll tell me then, because I need to hear it. It’s been a struggle, and I ‘ve always needed to get feedback on what I do. We WILL get there someday, Bill ! — Nathalie from Belgium 134.1/120.4/2nd 10 % 108.5/Goal 68 Kg 295.6/265.4/2nd 10 % 239/Goal 150 pounds Halloween goal : 255 lbs/ 115.7 kg

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I agree with those that say that if you start very large then it isn’t as noticeable.  My wife has lost 30 lbs since I started by following the points although she never joined WW.  She does do most of the cooking and it has worked out well for us that she is following the plan.  She is now well into her acceptable BMI range for her age and in fact is getting close to the bottom.     Everyone notices her weight loss because it is over 20% of what I thought was a normal looking body.  She is now doesn’t like the compliments because she says if people notice that much then they must have thought she was a pig before (of course that is not true).  Almost no one has noticed my loss even though I weigh less than I have for 15 years.  I am still grossly overweight by all standards.  I have to wear smaller clothes but they are still XL instead of XXXL.  Now people tell her that she should put me on a diet so I can lose like her.  THAT REALLY gets her going.  She then tells them how much I have lost.  You know, I have been so conditioned to accept the comments about me that it doesn’t really get me mad.  I don’t think that people are being malicious when they say that.  They just don’t notice me. My wife has always been very pretty and very outgoing.  I have no self esteem, am shy and try to stay in the background.  My wife gets noticed. I am like an accessory to her image.  Perhaps I like it that way.  My wife has only ever wanted me to lose weight because of my health issues, at least that is what she says.  I do know she is more attentive to me now than before.  I don’t know if it is because I look better to her or she now has a better self image and feels sexier herself.  I won’t complain. Sorry for going off track.  I guess the point I was trying to make was that for those of us that have a lot to lose, it will take a lot for others to notice.  They will eventually, but we all want faster results and more recognition. — Bill P. 327/265/190  WW Mar 5/02 So far I have lost over 30lbs in 3 months. Still have 70lbs to go, but still I am down 2 dress sizes and it is obvious that I have lost weight. A few people have commented, said I looked great, but many, many more have said nothing, even the ones who know I am trying to eat healthier. My question is why do you think people do this? It would give me a real boost if more people commented, but most people say nothing. Does it take a really dramatic loss (say 60lbs or so) for people to really start commenting? Lisa

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Oh Lizzy, I asked someone once, years ago, "When are you due?". And they weren’t pregnant. I STILL feel mortified when I remember the conversation and wish I could turn the clock back. Kayess – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I was asked that question : "are you pregnant?" I replied with a big smile on my face : "No, I am just a little fat." and laughed about it. But I didn’t feel happy at all when the conversation was over … I’ll try and remember that unhappy feeling whenever I need some WW motivation. — Liesbeth Started WW at : 23th April 2002 10 % : 16th July 2002 minigoal reached : 176 next minigoal : 165 (= first WW goal ! yessssss) first WW goal : 165 HC start : 173.8 lbs HC goal : 165 lbs 205/172.5/151 30.1/25.3/22.3 http://go.to/funfunfun (old site with ‘funny’ stuff) http://come.to/lizzz (oldER site with stuff that USED TO interest me)

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First of all, congratulations on losing those 30 pounds, Lisa. A lot of people have a habit of gaining weight back after they’ve lost it and that is one reason why people are hesitatant about mentioning your lose. Of course, there is always the obvious reason – they really don’t notice. Some people don’t care how you look – they just like you and don’t notice your size or the way you dress. These people are really the best kind because they only care about what is inside you and not what is on the outside! Then there are the others, who are afraid to mention that you’ve lost weight in case you’ve been sick! There are lots of reasons for not asking about the weight you’ve lost. Tell these people that you are a member of Weight Watchers and then you’ll see how many have really noticed that you’ve lost weight – and some of them won’t have noticed. So don’t be disappointed in what other say – Look at yourself & be proud of what you’ve done. We are! Elaine K 331.4/214.4/179 – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – So far I have lost over 30lbs in 3 months. Still have 70lbs to go, but still I am down 2 dress sizes and it is obvious that I have lost weight. A few people have commented, said I looked great, but many, many more have said nothing, even the ones who know I am trying to eat healthier. My question is why do you think people do this? It would give me a real boost if more people commented, but most people say nothing. Does it take a really dramatic loss (say 60lbs or so) for people to really start commenting? Lisa

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I have already posted, but just remember something that happened to me last week when I was working in the garden at the front of our house. A women walked by & looked at me, then asked "Have you lose weight?"  Now I have lost 115 pounds and she is just now asking if I have lost weight!!!  She is a regular on our street & I have been losing for a year – and she is just now asking if I’ve lost? Elaine K 331.4/214.4/179 – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – So far I have lost over 30lbs in 3 months. Still have 70lbs to go, but still I am down 2 dress sizes and it is obvious that I have lost weight. A few people have commented, said I looked great, but many, many more have said nothing, even the ones who know I am trying to eat healthier. My question is why do you think people do this? It would give me a real boost if more people commented, but most people say nothing. Does it take a really dramatic loss (say 60lbs or so) for people to really start commenting? Lisa

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Now, back to lurking. — kat ^.^< I think you have ‘delurked’ a few times before. I never forget that face ;) Liesbeth

Yup, I have.  When I was going down, I was a regular (maybe too regular) poster.  Now that I am on maintenance, I haven’t had as much to say, and others seem to say it so much better. And this is still (with the exception of the spammers and trolls) one of the nicest and most helpful groups on the net. — kat ^.^< Rhinelander, WI USA Home of the Hodag Start date Nov 9, 2000 175.6/140 Made Goal Nov 8, 2001!!!!

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Now, back to lurking. — kat ^.^<

I think you have ‘delurked’ a few times before. I never forget that face ;) Liesbeth

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Thirty pounds is nothing to sneeze at.  You did very well! Could it be that they are afraid that they will comment that you look like you have lost weight and think you will say you have not?  I know that sounds crazy, but I think it is akin to asking a plump woman if she is pregnant.  If you do and she is, then you did well to ask and she will be very happy that you noticed.  However if she is just a waistless dear, and you ask, you have hurt her feelings and probably would have made yourself feel so ashamed for hurting someone.

I was asked that question : "are you pregnant?" I replied with a big smile on my face : "No, I am just a little fat." and laughed about it. But I didn’t feel happy at all when the conversation was over … I’ll try and remember that unhappy feeling whenever I need some WW motivation. — Liesbeth Started WW at : 23th April 2002 10 % : 16th July 2002 minigoal reached : 176 next minigoal : 165 (= first WW goal ! yessssss) first WW goal : 165 HC start : 173.8 lbs HC goal : 165 lbs 205/172.5/151 30.1/25.3/22.3 http://go.to/funfunfun (old site with ‘funny’ stuff) http://come.to/lizzz (oldER site with stuff that USED TO interest me)

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I think people who can’t lose weight can sometimes be jealous, or just plain indifferent.  Often times, people tend to be judgemental about excess weight.  They may feel it’s a given that you should lose weight, so why celebrate it?  I’d stay clear of people like that. I am here to tell you that I think losing that much (heck, any weight!) in that short a time is a real achievement….and one that deserves a major applause!  Can you hear it?  I’m here rooting and clapping for you! Congratulations!!!  I only hope to follow in your footsteps.  So long as you know in your heart and mind that you did it and can continue to do it, that’s all that matters.  If you feel better about yourself and are committed to whatever your goals are, then more power to you.  Those other people are just wall paper. YOU GO GIRL! Ginger

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – So far I have lost over 30lbs in 3 months. Still have 70lbs to go, but still I am down 2 dress sizes and it is obvious that I have lost weight. A few people have commented, said I looked great, but many, many more have said nothing, even the ones who know I am trying to eat healthier. My question is why do you think people do this? It would give me a real boost if more people commented, but most people say nothing. Does it take a really dramatic loss (say 60lbs or so) for people to really start commenting? Lisa

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My opinion is a little more sinister ;-)  I think there are a lot of people who feel more secure with somebody to look down on.  When you start "joining the rest of the human race" or "normalizing" your appearance, they lose their target, have to change their opinion of you etc.  I agree with Ginger..STEER CLEAR. I love the folks who hear "diet" and assume you are doing something faddish and unhealthy.  The first time I gained it and lost it, (on WWers) I remember getting a cold (don’t we all?) and the first words out of my boss’s mouth were "now maybe you’ll get some sense and stop that damned diet." Yes, it was a place where they loved making comments about my size!   So I’ve seen it from both sides…sitting on the  "thin" side and listening from there about others ("she’s so large, I don’t know why they hired her.") and being  on the "target practice" side.  I tried to speak up when I was NOT on the target range. 30 pounds is amazing!  You deserve a nice, cold glass of…V-8!!!!!!! – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I think people who can’t lose weight can sometimes be jealous, or just plain indifferent.  Often times, people tend to be judgemental about excess weight.  They may feel it’s a given that you should lose weight, so why celebrate it?  I’d stay clear of people like that. I am here to tell you that I think losing that much (heck, any weight!) in that short a time is a real achievement….and one that deserves a major applause!  Can you hear it?  I’m here rooting and clapping for you! Congratulations!!!  I only hope to follow in your footsteps.  So long as you know in your heart and mind that you did it and can continue to do it, that’s all that matters.  If you feel better about yourself and are committed to whatever your goals are, then more power to you.  Those other people are just wall paper. YOU GO GIRL! Ginger So far I have lost over 30lbs in 3 months. Still have 70lbs to go, but still I am down 2 dress sizes and it is obvious that I have lost weight. A few people have commented, said I looked great, but many, many more have said nothing, even the ones who know I am trying to eat healthier. My question is why do you think people do this? It would give me a real boost if more people commented, but most people say nothing. Does it take a really dramatic loss (say 60lbs or so) for people to really start commenting? Lisa

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My question is why do you think people do this? It would give me a real boost if more people commented, but most people say nothing. Does it take a really dramatic loss (say 60lbs or so) for people to really start commenting?

My husband (who is a little shy) has said that he doesn’t feel comfortable commenting on people’s weight loss simply because he feels that it sounds like he’s saying "You looked horrible before" instead of just "You look great now."  In a twisted way, this makes sense to me. — Amy ZR 163.5/133.5/HC: 130/124 Baby Jack’s homepage: http://home.attbi.com/~therorks/

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Hi, I have never lost weight before so I have never yo yo dieted. One day I just woke up and was sick of being fat. I am currently doing weight watchers under the supervision of the doctor and I am fully aware that this is a lifestyle change and not a "diet" that will last 12 months and then I can go back to eating the way I was before. I do eat, biscuits, ice cream and crisps, but in moderation and low fat versions. This is why I find weight watchers such a good plan as it encourages healthy eating without banning any foods. I was nearly 250lbs when I started so maybe you are right the weightloss is less noticeable than I have imagined. Lisa

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – So far I have lost over 30lbs in 3 months. Still have 70lbs to go, but still I am down 2 dress sizes and it is obvious that I have lost weight. A few people have commented, said I looked great, but many, many more have said nothing, even the ones who know I am trying to eat healthier. My question is why do you think people do this? my guess is you’ve done this before.  if i may be bold and estimate your current weight at around 200 pounds, the 30 pounds you’ve lost could be seen as just fluctuation. for you it came with some effort, but to others any one of those cuckoo diets will produce this weight loss.  maybe they think you got sick and don’t want to raise the topic for fear of being awkward. and when i hear someone say they’re "trying" to eat healthy, i don’t really think they’re in for the long haul.  you need to convince yourself that you are changed. not changing. one more question: have any of these people who haven’t mentioned it seen you eat ice cream or a donut or french fires?  if yes, that’s why they aren’t saying anything.  they figure you’re not gonna make it.  so why bother with the supportive words.  what can they say when you put the weight back on? that being said, i usually compliment people i know who lose weight.  even the first 10 pounds.  they at least are trying.  most gain it back anyway and then i might tell them that they weren’t ready. maybe sooner. maybe later. they can lose it again. i try to be supportive when it comes back.  but matter-of-fact also. i sometimes suggest that next time they decide to trim down they try counting calories (or points) and work out.  i also mention that this is something they’ll need to do forever.  most aren’t happy with that thought. …thehick

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I think too that with your weight starting out being so high people are not as likely to notice until there is a dramatic difference.  The bigger you are starting out the harder it is to notice.  Unless they really look at you and did before, they might not notice.  At my work people noticed.  One of my friends asked me if I had been sick.  And HER daughter is a WW leader, lol  Just be patient and they will notice :)  How long can they keep their mouths shut anyway? hehehe

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So far I have lost over 30lbs in 3 months. Still have 70lbs to go, but still I am down 2 dress sizes and it is obvious that I have lost weight. A few people have commented, said I looked great, but many, many more have said nothing, even the ones who know I am trying to eat healthier. My question is why do you think people do this? It would give me a real boost if more people commented, but most people say nothing. Does it take a really dramatic loss (say 60lbs or so) for people to really start commenting? Lisa

There are so many reasons for this, I will only list a few. 1)  We are mostly so self-absorbed that we don’t notice other people changing.  If Santa came up to some people with a 50 pound loss and no beard, some people wouldn’t notice, or might ask if he got a new suit. 2)  Kindness.  After losing 35 pounds, I have gotten very few comments, and often they were couched in terms to cover health issues:  "You’ve lost weight–I hope it was on purpose?" 3)  Fear.  After being on this newsgroup for three years, I have noticed several threads where the ones losing weight felt that it was an attack when people attempted to compliment them.  Like a man chewed out for opening a door for a feminist, it makes one pause before commenting. 4)  Difficulty in phrasing it correctly.  If you attempt a compliment and it ends up sounding like an insult (as Amy said, sounds like you always looked terrible before), then the poor sucker may end up tasting Nike.  If you don’t say it, you don’t end up with your foot in your mouth. I could go on, but you get the idea.  It isn’t personal. Now, back to lurking. — kat ^.^< Rhinelander, WI USA Home of the Hodag Start date Nov 9, 2000 175.6/138.8/140 Made Goal Nov 8, 2001!!!!

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Thirty pounds is nothing to sneeze at.  You did very well! Could it be that they are afraid that they will comment that you look like you have lost weight and think you will say you have not?  I know that sounds crazy, but I think it is akin to asking a plump woman if she is pregnant.  If you do and she is, then you did well to ask and she will be very happy that you noticed.  However if she is just a waistless dear, and you ask, you have hurt her feelings and probably would have made yourself feel so ashamed for hurting someone–so some folks would take the attitude of WHY ASK?  WHY COMMENT?? I bet those folks *do* notice your weight loss, but don’t want to risk saying the wrong thing.  Keep it up!  You will wow them with your new body so much so that they cannot help but notice EVEN IF THEY DON’T SAY A — Sharon Boring Amabile Wife, mother, perpetual student and frequent volunteer 206.8/191.6/120

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – So far I have lost over 30lbs in 3 months. Still have 70lbs to go, but still I am down 2 dress sizes and it is obvious that I have lost weight. A few people have commented, said I looked great, but many, many more have said nothing, even the ones who know I am trying to eat healthier. My question is why do you think people do this? It would give me a real boost if more people commented, but most people say nothing. Does it take a really dramatic loss (say 60lbs or so) for people to really start commenting? Lisa

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My husband (who is a little shy) has said that he doesn’t feel comfortable commenting on people’s weight loss simply because he feels that it sounds like he’s saying "You looked horrible before" instead of just "You look great now."  In a twisted way, this makes sense to me…

I was about to write something along the same lines, so I’ll piggyback here:)  I think there’s truth to that.  I think some folks are uncomfortable mentioning your weight loss, especially if you still have some to lose, because it’s almost like pointing out that you’re still fat. My mother, who is a lifetime member of WW and one of my greatest supporters, is constantly [read incessantly] trying to bolster my efforts by asking, "How did you do this week?"  "Keep up the good work," etc. and while I really appreciate her support and encouragement, sometimes I get tired of it too.  It’s like a constant reminder that you "still have so much to lose…don’t give up now."  I know that’s not the way she means it, but sometimes it wears a little thin:) I think you’re doing terrific!  I think the most important praise is that which we give ourselves:) Nancy [194.2/186.6/136] as of week #2

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Well, I haven’t hit the 60 lbs. gone mark – have lost 56 pounds at this time … still comments are very slim.  I know my appearance has changed – pretty hard to go from a size 22/24 down to a 14 and not have some changes take place … yet it does seem people are hesitant to make comments.  It used to bother me, doesn’t anymore.  I think most people are afraid to say anything, for fear they may come across as being offensive by insinuating they thought you were *fat* before.  I guess they feel it’s easier and safer to keep their comments to themselves, and avoid any possible embarrassment to both parties. I remember running across an old  male friend of mine, several weeks after giving birth to my first child.  After the first greetings passed, the next comment was *and when is the baby due?*  Sorry pal, that baby was born 6 weeks ago – I wouldn’t swear which one of us felt worse. Joyce So far I have lost over 30lbs in 3 months. Still have 70lbs to go, but still I am down 2 dress sizes and it is obvious that I have lost weight. A few people have commented, said I looked great, but many, many more have said nothing, even the ones who know I am trying to eat healthier. My question is why do you think people do this? It would give me a real boost if more people commented, but most people say nothing. Does it take a really dramatic loss (say 60lbs or so) for people to really start commenting? Lisa

228.8/172/150ish for now

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I agree with those that say that if you start very large then it isn’t as noticeable.  My wife has lost 30 lbs since I started by following the points although she never joined WW.  She does do most of the cooking and it has worked out well for us that she is following the plan.  She is now well into her acceptable BMI range for her age and in fact is getting close to the bottom.     Everyone notices her weight loss because it is over 20% of what I thought was a normal looking body.  She is now doesn’t like the compliments because she says if people notice that much then they must have thought she was a pig before (of course that is not true).  Almost no one has noticed my loss even though I weigh less than I have for 15 years.  I am still grossly overweight by all standards.  I have to wear smaller clothes but they are still XL instead of XXXL.  Now people tell her that she should put me on a diet so I can lose like her.  THAT REALLY gets her going.  She then tells them how much I have lost.  You know, I have been so conditioned to accept the comments about me that it doesn’t really get me mad.  I don’t think that people are being malicious when they say that.  They just don’t notice me. My wife has always been very pretty and very outgoing.  I have no self esteem, am shy and try to stay in the background.  My wife gets noticed.  I am like an accessory to her image.  Perhaps I like it that way.  My wife has only ever wanted me to lose weight because of my health issues, at least that is what she says.  I do know she is more attentive to me now than before.  I don’t know if it is because I look better to her or she now has a better self image and feels sexier herself.  I won’t complain. Sorry for going off track.  I guess the point I was trying to make was that for those of us that have a lot to lose, it will take a lot for others to notice.  They will eventually, but we all want faster results and more recognition. — Bill P. 327/265/190  WW Mar 5/02

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – So far I have lost over 30lbs in 3 months. Still have 70lbs to go, but still I am down 2 dress sizes and it is obvious that I have lost weight. A few people have commented, said I looked great, but many, many more have said nothing, even the ones who know I am trying to eat healthier. My question is why do you think people do this? It would give me a real boost if more people commented, but most people say nothing. Does it take a really dramatic loss (say 60lbs or so) for people to really start commenting? Lisa

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – My husband (who is a little shy) has said that he doesn’t feel comfortable commenting on people’s weight loss simply because he feels that it sounds like he’s saying "You looked horrible before" instead of just "You look great now."  In a twisted way, this makes sense to me… I was about to write something along the same lines, so I’ll piggyback here:)  I think there’s truth to that.  I think some folks are uncomfortable mentioning your weight loss, especially if you still have some to lose, because it’s almost like pointing out that you’re still fat. My mother, who is a lifetime member of WW and one of my greatest supporters, is constantly [read incessantly] trying to bolster my efforts by asking, "How did you do this week?"  "Keep up the good work," etc. and while I really appreciate her support and encouragement, sometimes I get tired of it too.  It’s like a constant reminder that you "still have so much to lose…don’t give up now."  I know that’s not the way she means it, but sometimes it wears a little thin:)

I just wanted to say I do agree with you. I am not losing the weight to for THEM, I am losing it for ME. So the less they are mentioning it, the better (most of the time). But it does feel nice to get a compliment every once in a while. As long as it’s not every few days. Whenever I get a compliment I feel a little like "OMG, so they noticed me getting ‘fatter’ after all. Oh no, I am still (a little) overweight and they ALREADY notice a difference, was I really that fat???". — Liesbeth Started WW at : 23th April 2002 10 % : 16th July 2002 minigoal reached : 176 next minigoal : 165 (= first WW goal ! yessssss) first WW goal : 165 HC start : 173.8 lbs HC goal : 165 lbs 205/172.5/151 30.1/25.3/22.3 http://go.to/funfunfun (old site with ‘funny’ stuff) http://come.to/lizzz (oldER site with stuff that USED TO interest me)

Response:

So far I have lost over 30lbs in 3 months. Still have 70lbs to go, but still I am down 2 dress sizes and it is obvious that I have lost weight. A few people have commented, said I looked great, but many, many more have said nothing, even the ones who know I am trying to eat healthier. My question is why do you think people do this? It would give me a real boost if more people commented, but most people say nothing. Does it take a really dramatic loss (say 60lbs or so) for people to really start commenting? Lisa

Response:

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