Orap or live with TS?
Question:
I have yet to pick up my prescription for Orap. The more I think about it, the more I decide I don’t want it. My husband loves me as I am. My employer and colleagues don’t mind my tics. But they will mind if I’m a spaced-out vegetable who can’t do her work. I was miserable during my 2 weeks on seroquel. Now here’s the part that will make you either think I’m one courageous woman or one sick puppy. Part of me doesn’t want to be cured. Part of me would turn down a free medication without side effects. Maybe its some bizarre feminist statement: I’m not ashamed of how different I look and sound. Ironic coming from a woman who nearly starved herself to death in the name of vanity 15 years ago. Ironic from a woman whose self-image revolved around her physical appearance for years. Maybe its also a validation that I HAVE SOMETHING REAL. Its so ironic that I had bipolar disorder since preschool, and everyone just thought I was a bad girl, crybaby, immature, spoiled, hysterical, attention-seeking etc. My peers were brutal. No one would ever kick someone in a broken leg just to watch them scream in pain. But essentially, that’s what they did to me. By contrast, TS was a day in the park for me. I’m sure it would have been agonizing if I’d had it as a child or teen, even if I didn’t also have the bipolar. How ironic that people used to think I was lazy and weak-willed when I was trying my hardest just to get through the day with my bipolar; now everyone told me how brave and strong I was, when I didn’t do anything but go about my business. I didn’t care if strangers looked at me funny. I’d been through far worse. Only three things caused great pain: 1) the Drs assumption that this was not TS but a hysterical reaction to get attention (and worse yet, believing them!), 2) my realization that if people in childhood & adolescence had been as tolerant and understanding as people are now, this would have saved me so much unnecessary suffering, 3) that so many people who have TS aren’t as lucky as I am as far as support. My TS isn’t painful or disabling. So I walk funny and occassionally get a sore neck. If I "cure" my TS, to me that’s saying that what I have is ugly and horrible and must be gotten rid of. I don’t feel that way about it anymore. I like going out in public with my friends, and having strangers look perplexed as they watch these normal people treating this lurching, twitching, shouting "freak" as if she were as normal as they were. Hopefully, they’re learning something. I like the way that since I’ve gotten this, people see me as someone they can open up to about there own problems, because they know I have my own, literally written all over my face. I heard a troubled teenager who’d been through absolute hell and back tell me how lucky he was, that he’d taken his own body for granted. I wouldn’t trade my life for his any day, but perhaps this taught him something. So maybe unlike the genuis Kay Jamison, I never learned to appreciate my gift of manic-depression 
I decided to get rid of it. (The proper diagnosis of bipolar was validating; the depakote was a miracle.) But maybe I’ll keep the TS. I’m learning to make the best of it. It’s more than, as my friends always joke, "a lucky, built-in excuse to curse." Its more of a blessing than a curse. Or maybe I am just a hysteric who craves attention. Or too chicken to try more medication. Or I’m manic delusional. Or all of the above. Alex — For more information about this service, send e-mail to: h…@anon.twwells.com — for an automatically returned help message ad…@anon.twwells.com – for the service’s administrator ano…@anon.twwells.com — anonymous mail to the administrator
Response:
hello there…. I have the " built in cussing excuse, " 2. It took me awhile, BUT, i figured out how cool Tsers actually r! I don’t think u should go 4 the meds.. but that is my oppion… I might have Manic depression.. what r the syntoms??? Teil Maliah
Response:
<anon-23…@anon.twwells.com> wrote in message
news:7f8j7k$36k$1@twwells.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I have yet to pick up my prescription for Orap. The more I think about > it, the more I decide I don’t want it. My husband loves me as I am. My > employer and colleagues don’t mind my tics. But they will mind if I’m a > spaced-out vegetable who can’t do her work. I was miserable during my 2 > weeks on seroquel. > Now here’s the part that will make you either think I’m one courageous > woman or one sick puppy. Part of me doesn’t want to be cured. Part of > me would turn down a free medication without side effects. > Maybe its some bizarre feminist statement: I’m not ashamed of how > different I look and sound. Ironic coming from a woman who nearly > starved herself to death in the name of vanity 15 years ago. Ironic > from a woman whose self-image revolved around her physical appearance > for years. > Maybe its also a validation that I HAVE SOMETHING REAL. Its so ironic > that I had bipolar disorder since preschool, and everyone just thought I > was a bad girl, crybaby, immature, spoiled, hysterical, > attention-seeking etc. My peers were brutal. No one would ever kick > someone in a broken leg just to watch them scream in pain. But > essentially, that’s what they did to me. > By contrast, TS was a day in the park for me. I’m sure it would have > been agonizing if I’d had it as a child or teen, even if I didn’t also > have the bipolar. How ironic that people used to think I was lazy and > weak-willed when I was trying my hardest just to get through the day > with my bipolar; now everyone told me how brave and strong I was, when I > didn’t do anything but go about my business. I didn’t care if strangers > looked at me funny. I’d been through far worse. Only three things > caused great pain: 1) the Drs assumption that this was not TS but a > hysterical reaction to get attention (and worse yet, believing them!), > 2) my realization that if people in childhood & adolescence had been as > tolerant and understanding as people are now, this would have saved me > so much unnecessary suffering, 3) that so many people who have TS aren’t > as lucky as I am as far as support. > My TS isn’t painful or disabling. So I walk funny and occassionally get > a sore neck. If I "cure" my TS, to me that’s saying that what I have is > ugly and horrible and must be gotten rid of. I don’t feel that way > about it anymore. I like going out in public with my friends, and > having strangers look perplexed as they watch these normal people > treating this lurching, twitching, shouting "freak" as if she were as > normal as they were. Hopefully, they’re learning something. I like the > way that since I’ve gotten this, people see me as someone they can open > up to about there own problems, because they know I have my own, > literally written all over my face. I heard a troubled teenager who’d > been through absolute hell and back tell me how lucky he was, that he’d > taken his own body for granted. I wouldn’t trade my life for his any > day, but perhaps this taught him something. > So maybe unlike the genuis Kay Jamison, I never learned to appreciate my > gift of manic-depression I decided to get rid of it. (The > proper diagnosis of bipolar was validating; the depakote was a > miracle.) But maybe I’ll keep the TS. I’m learning to make the best of > it. It’s more than, as my friends always joke, "a lucky, built-in > excuse to curse." Its more of a blessing than a curse. > Or maybe I am just a hysteric who craves attention. Or too chicken to > try more medication. Or I’m manic delusional. Or all of the above. > Alex > There is nothing wrong with how you feel. If you are happy and accept
yourself as you are..That’s Great!!! It’s also great that your family and co-workers accept your ts as well. My son is taking Orap for his blinking tic because it became painful and uncomfortable for him. He has had no side effects from it and it has controlled his blinking tic. His wild and crazy impulsiveness is still there and that is fine. That is just a part of who he is and he is comfortable with it, too. When he was on Pamelor, he was like a completely different person ( calm, quite, less impulsive). I really missed the real kid. He and we agree that medication should only be used when he is really uncomfortable and if possible to only cover those symptoms. He enjoys being himself and I’m glad to hear that you enjoy being you! – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> — > For more information about this service, send e-mail to: > h…@anon.twwells.com — for an automatically returned help message > ad…@anon.twwells.com – for the service’s administrator > ano…@anon.twwells.com — anonymous mail to the administrator
Response:
Filed under: Feminist
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