Opinion: Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus

Question:

Lots of Americans find European films "boring" — not enough action to keep our attention span engaged, I suppose ) But — I like them. Barb

That’s precisely what I am talking about. What does that indicate to you? (rhetorical). It’s not really funny – it’s just (yet another) sad commentary on our society…. BTW – I’m not in such a metro area as you are, Barb, so those films aren’t here.

Response:

They got it all wrong. Men are from Sears, Women are from Sak’s

Response:

Well, here’s what showing at one of the cinemas in my area: http://www.esquiretheatre.com/show.htm I saw "Man on the Train" (a French flick) the other day. Very good. Synopsis: "When the criminal Milan rolls into a sleepy French backwater town planning to knock off the local bank on Saturday, he assumes it will go off without a hitch. Then he encounters Manesquier. A retired poetry teacher whose sedentary lifestyle bores even himself, Manesquier offers Milan a much-needed drink of water in his musty old chateau. The only thing they seem to share is that Manesquier, too, has an important date on Saturday; but his is for open-heart surgery. From the start, the two men are equally wary of the other. Manesquier senses that Milan is up to no good, while Milan is driven crazy by Manesquier’s incessant talking. But, when Milan is forced to hole up in Manesquier’s mansion until the robbery, the distance between them begins to disappear. Suddenly, Manesquier wonders what it would be like to trade his books and art for Milan’s gun and life of adventure. Meanwhile, Milan covets Manesquier’s bedroom slippers and cozy life of stability. As their friendship develops, surprising moments of humor and tenderness emerge, as each seemingly defies his personality to explore his yearning for the life of the other." Whale Rider is on my "to see" list. Synopsis: "On the east coast of New Zealand, the Whangara people believe their presence there dates back a thousand years or more to a single ancestor, Paikea, who escaped death when his canoe capsized by riding to shore on the back of a whale. From then on, Whangara chiefs have always been the first-born and male. Many generations later, the contemporary tale revolves around a young mother whose male newborn twin dies in childbirth. Her young husband flees New Zealand in grief, leaving grandparents Koro and Nanny Flowers to raise the sole survivor, a feisty little girl named Pai, who radiates with life and energy. It’s no wonder that her grandmother and the entire community love her, but alas, the grandfather she worships is too busy mourning the loss of the baby boy he expected would lead the tribe to better days." Didn’t even check the other 2 theaters in town – this is the one closest to me. Lots of Americans find European films "boring" — not enough action to keep our attention span engaged, I suppose ) But — I like them. Barb

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I find an incredibly broad choice in movies today — far more than a few years ago. I don’t live in an especially large or progressive city, yet can choose from one of 3 theaters that show primarily independent and world films. We also have a very active film society that has brought some truly outstanding films to town. There’s some really great stuff out there — risky, innovative, etc. Maybe the media doesn’t pay as much attention to these films, but judging from my experience in my city — it would appear it’s a growth market in the U.S. I can’t find any films that interest me. Maybe we get different films to you. I visited the cinema a week ago and there about 12 films on and not one of them was interesting – they were all very superficial stuff like James Bond, or boy meets girl or rambo scwharznegger pulls the wings off aeroplanes while they take off (what *was* that un-distinctive film series called?) and stuff like that. Maybe its me. Barb – name them please, these risky innovative films. There are good films in small cinemas with a cultural-elite clientele in the bohemian quarters of some UK cities (Oh don’t you just luuurrrrve Maaaahhhler! – prize for who gets the allusion) but you have to work hard to find them. Think they’re all old ones though. Like Citizen Kane for example. Then there’s my films – particularly African Queen and Casablanca – they were pretty good. I recommend them thoroughly (my ex hated them ) ). bogey

Response:

I’ll definitely check these out. Sociological studies is definitely an interest of mine, so these should be a good read. Thanks! :~)- – Glen

<snip – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I read it. I thought it was helpful in understanding communication differences. I wouldn’t say it is a communication bible, but it pointed things out to me that I didn’t know. Try "You Just Don’t Understand" or "That’s Not What I Meant" by Deborah Tannen. Sociolinguistics,…cool subject. Counselor that I was seeing at the time said that it was pop psychology and I shouldn’t put too much stock in it. I think he was afraid that I would feel cured and stop paying him the $1,000’s of dollars to "save" the marriage. An intact mind is of no use to a therapist unless you have great health insurance. CJ da Yooper

Response:

I’m just curious if anyone has any personal reviews of this book.

Buy it used from amazon.com for $2 plus $3.49 shipping. Don’t spend more, or better, see if your local library has it for rent for free.

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– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I’m just curious if anyone has any personal reviews of this book. I’ve never read it, but I find myself trying to understand the female psyche these days. Cosmo just isn’t cutting the mustard. :~)- Any opinions? I read it. I thought it was helpful in understanding communication differences. I wouldn’t say it is a communication bible, but it pointed things out to me that I didn’t know. Counselor that I was seeing at the time said that it was pop psychology and I shouldn’t put too much stock in it. I think he was afraid that I would feel cured and stop paying him the $1,000’s of dollars to "save" the marriage. Rambler

Just to point out to the OP, out of all the responses to your question, I evidently am the *only* voice of reason Rambler (who’s feeling kind of lonely being the only person holding up the John Grey flag, and is seriously thinking of throwing it away . . . nah, peer pressure never worked on me )

Response:

I am evidently am the *only* voice of reason

Move over for me too!!!

Response:

I’m just curious if anyone has any personal reviews of this book. Buy it used from amazon.com for $2 plus $3.49 shipping. Don’t spend more, or better, see if your local library has it for rent for free.

I bought it at a yard sale for $1.00 or fifty cents I really don’t remember. I have never even opened it, just seemed like one of those "fad" books. One day maybe I will be bored enough and read a bit of it. Lori Mc

Response:

I think you have to distinguish the books. I think Gray’s book is excellent. Tannen on the other hand has a serious feminist agenda and most of her book is spent discussing how language reveals male dominance. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I read it. I thought it was helpful in understanding communication differences. I wouldn’t say it is a communication bible, but it pointed things out to me that I didn’t know. Try "You Just Don’t Understand" or "That’s Not What I Meant" by Deborah Tannen. Sociolinguistics,…cool subject. Yep, he’s right – these are really good books when it comes to understanding communication differences. I’d recommend them highly, too….

Response:

Personally, I agree with the ‘concept’ behind the book, but I hated the book itself. I felt it was written in a very condescending manner. JMHO Cheryl – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I’m just curious if anyone has any personal reviews of this book. I’ve never read it, but I find myself trying to understand the female psyche these days. Cosmo just isn’t cutting the mustard. :~)- Any opinions? – Glen

Response:

Yeah, I agree with that. But realize it was written for the masses. Volume sells, don’t ya know. And that’s also why we have really few, truly good (thoughtful) movies these days. It just won’t sell to the masses, and it’s too risky for Hollywood. The "safest bet" to recap the investment is the special effects stuff, and high adventure. True innovation? Sigh….. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Personally, I agree with the ‘concept’ behind the book, but I hated the book itself. I felt it was written in a very condescending manner. JMHO Cheryl I’m just curious if anyone has any personal reviews of this book. I’ve never read it, but I find myself trying to understand the female psyche these days. Cosmo just isn’t cutting the mustard. :~)- Any opinions? – Glen

Response:

One of them ,…maybe. I don’t recall sensing such a thing, and I’m pretty quick to toss something that begins to smell that way. The other was more focused on ethnic and cultural differences. CJ da Yooper

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[snip] And that’s also why we have really few, truly good (thoughtful) movies these days. It just won’t sell to the masses, and it’s too risky for Hollywood. The "safest bet" to recap the investment is the special effects stuff, and high adventure. True innovation? Sigh…..

I find an incredibly broad choice in movies today — far more than a few years ago. I don’t live in an especially large or progressive city, yet can choose from one of 3 theaters that show primarily independent and world films. We also have a very active film society that has brought some truly outstanding films to town. There’s some really great stuff out there — risky, innovative, etc. Maybe the media doesn’t pay as much attention to these films, but judging from my experience in my city — it would appear it’s a growth market in the U.S. Barb

Response:

I can’t find any films that interest me. Maybe we get different films to you. I visited the cinema a week ago and there about 12 films on and not one of them was interesting – they were all very superficial stuff like James Bond, or boy meets girl or rambo scwharznegger pulls the wings off aeroplanes while they take off (what *was* that un-distinctive film series called?) and stuff like that. Maybe its me. Barb – name them please, these risky innovative films. There are good films in small cinemas with a cultural-elite clientele in the bohemian quarters of some UK cities (Oh don’t you just luuurrrrve Maaaahhhler! – prize for who gets the allusion) but you have to work hard to find them. Think they’re all old ones though. Like Citizen Kane for example. Then there’s my films – particularly African Queen and Casablanca – they were pretty good. I recommend them thoroughly (my ex hated them ) ). bogey

Response:

Counselor that I was seeing at the time said that it was pop psychology and I shouldn’t put too much stock in it. I think he was afraid that I would feel cured and stop paying him the $1,000’s of dollars to "save" the marriage. An intact mind is of no use to a therapist unless you have great health insurance.

Yeah, but this guy was a crook. He actually lives in the same community that I live in, and everytime I see him I want to pop him. He said I had anger management problems. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – CJ da Yooper

Response:

When I was marreid, we were going to write a book: "Men are from Earth, Women are from Earth" The book is very sexist on both sides and rather dated (applies well to my parents generation). Thanks, Mike — To reply via email remove the X’s from my email address:

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Yes. I think it’s a stupid name for a book.

Response:

I read it. I thought it was helpful in understanding communication differences. I wouldn’t say it is a communication bible, but it pointed things out to me that I didn’t know. Try "You Just Don’t Understand" or "That’s Not What I Meant" by Deborah Tannen. Sociolinguistics,…cool subject.

Yep, he’s right – these are really good books when it comes to understanding communication differences. I’d recommend them highly, too….

Response:

I read it. I thought it was helpful in understanding communication differences. I wouldn’t say it is a communication bible, but it pointed things out to me that I didn’t know. Counselor that I was seeing at the time said that it was pop psychology and I shouldn’t put too much stock in it. I think he was afraid that I would feel cured and stop paying him the $1,000’s of dollars to "save" the marriage. Rambler

Response:

I’m just curious if anyone has any personal reviews of this book. I’ve never read it, but I find myself trying to understand the female psyche these days. Cosmo just isn’t cutting the mustard. :~)- Any opinions? I read it. I thought it was helpful in understanding communication differences. I wouldn’t say it is a communication bible, but it pointed things out to me that I didn’t know.

Try "You Just Don’t Understand" or "That’s Not What I Meant" by Deborah Tannen. Sociolinguistics,…cool subject. Counselor that I was seeing at the time said that it was pop psychology and I shouldn’t put too much stock in it. I think he was afraid that I would feel cured and stop paying him the $1,000’s of dollars to "save" the marriage.

An intact mind is of no use to a therapist unless you have great health insurance. CJ da Yooper

Response:

The title is misandrist. The author claims a "Ph.D." in big letters on the cover, but only got a certificate from an unaccredited mail order place that was later put out of business by the California Attorney General. The inside is about what you expect from the cover. For example, in two chapters he explains that women go through monthly mood swings, while men experience periodic up and dow times. That’s how men and women are different. It’s a loser book by a loser charlatan who panders to ignorant female readers. Bob n

Response:

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