i'm lonely – why isn't it brave when i say it? | Feminist

i'm lonely – why isn't it brave when i say it?

Question:

: oh god i don’t want to be alone i want to talk to somebody but there’s : nobody around and nobody e-mailing and nobody on icq and nobody : posting to anything i say and i’m so alone i am the only one like me : in the universe i am alien everywhere i go : i send out a pheromone that instead of attracting others drives them : away i will never belong anywhere : no man will ever hold me in his arms again i am poison i am hurting i : am needy i want i need i am loveless and no wonder no wonder look at : me, look at me all the good i try to do blows up in my face — "If you look too long at life and nature through others’ eyes, then you will never see them through your own." Maxfield Parrish

Response:

Nobody’s here. It’s true. I’ve been here for a while now. lisa a complete nobody — Our lives begin to end the day we are silent about things that matter. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Response:

oh god i don’t want to be alone i want to talk to somebody but there’s nobody around and nobody e-mailing and nobody on icq and nobody posting to anything i say and i’m so alone i am the only one like me in the universe i am alien everywhere i go i send out a pheromone that instead of attracting others drives them away i will never belong anywhere no man will ever hold me in his arms again i am poison i am hurting i am needy i want i need i am loveless and no wonder no wonder look at me, look at me all the good i try to do blows up in my face

Response:

Anyway, if nobody’s flaming you and calling you names, then you’re doing better than me right now, so count your blessings icarus — off to compose replies to several flames that deserve it

I have e-mail. If you’ve still got a copy of the response, please e-mail it. I’d be interested. Also – do you have ICQ? I’m always looking for new people to bore – I mean talk to. Where are you being flamed and called names? Not on ASD that I can see, and I don’t read ASDF.

Response:

oh god i don’t want to be alone i want to talk to somebody but there’s nobody around and nobody e-mailing and nobody on icq and nobody posting to anything i say and i’m so alone …

FWIW, I tried to reply to your msg on the "Things I miss" thread, but every time I hit "send", Netscape crashed on me. I have no idea why, but it kept happening. I gave up after the fourth time. Nothing personal, just technical difficulties. Anyway, if nobody’s flaming you and calling you names, then you’re doing better than me right now, so count your blessings icarus — off to compose replies to several flames that deserve it — Posted via Talkway – http://www.talkway.com Surf Usenet at home, on the road, and by email — always at Talkway.

Response:

Anyway, if nobody’s flaming you and calling you names, then you’re doing better than me right now, so count your blessings icarus — off to compose replies to several flames that deserve it I have e-mail. If you’ve still got a copy of the response, please e-mail it. I’d be interested.

It was nothing big, just a bunch of late-night rambling, reminiscing about Australia and stuff (Diana from Sydney posted something that got me remembering all the stuff about it I missed…). Nothing of much significance. I just mentioned it because I thought other people might be having similar technical prob’s (I still don’t know why that one particular post seemed to cause Netscape to choke … go figure). Also – do you have ICQ? I’m always looking for new people to bore – I mean talk to.

I pretty much stick to Usenet. To be honest, I don’t really know what ICQ is, although I seem to see it referred to a lot lately. Where are you being flamed and called names? Not on ASD that I can see, and I don’t read ASDF.

My response to wombn on one of Lou’s "short guy" threads didn’t seem to go over too well. But, then, I didn’t expect it to either, so I’m not real surprised. I’m pretty much an asshole and a loner anyway (and an unapologetic one at that ), so walking through flames doesn’t really bother me if I think it’s for a good cause. icarus — Posted via Talkway – http://www.talkway.com Surf Usenet at home, on the road, and by email — always at Talkway.

Response:

I am feeling exactly the same way as you are Bluebird, so even in that, you aren’t alone. I guess all we can do is believe that things may change… love ourselves even though it seems impossible and so very painful. Hugs to you, Karen Just my own thoughts… icq #11231620 or #21949093

Response:

What’s your ICQ number? Mary

: oh god i don’t want to be alone i want to talk to somebody but there’s : nobody around and nobody e-mailing and nobody on icq and nobody : posting to anything i say and i’m so alone i am the only one like me : in the universe i am alien everywhere i go : i send out a pheromone that instead of attracting others drives them : away i will never belong anywhere : no man will ever hold me in his arms again i am poison i am hurting i : am needy i want i need i am loveless and no wonder no wonder look at : me, look at me all the good i try to do blows up in my face — "The road is long and memory slides Into the hole of my undoing Put aside, I put away, I push it back to get through each day" ~Sarah McLachlan, "Black and White"

Response:

I pretty much stick to Usenet. To be honest, I don’t really know what ICQ is, although I seem to see it referred to a lot lately.

I think you can still get it at www.mirabilis.com. It’s a real-time chat program, and it’s free. Do a search on ICQ if that URL doesn’t work. It’s worth it. Where are you being flamed and called names? Not on ASD that I can see, and I don’t read ASDF. My response to wombn on one of Lou’s "short guy" threads didn’t seem to go over too well. But, then, I didn’t expect it to either, so I’m not real surprised. I’m pretty much an asshole and a loner anyway (and an unapologetic one at that ), so walking through flames doesn’t really bother me if I think it’s for a good cause.

I went back and read that thread to see what I’d missed. Lou was very angry about women, and I think wombn’s comment was right on target. You’re off-base about wombn, too. She’s no "feminist bully", but a wise and supportive member of ASD. However, you’re new here, so I’ll give you another chance. <lopsided smile — Bluebird

Response:

What’s your ICQ number? Mary

13094677

Response:

I pretty much stick to Usenet. To be honest, I don’t really know what ICQ is, although I seem to see it referred to a lot lately. I think you can still get it at www.mirabilis.com. It’s a real-time chat program, and it’s free. Do a search on ICQ if that URL doesn’t work. It’s worth it.

thanks for the tip. I’ll look into it. Where are you being flamed and called names? Not on ASD that I can see, and I don’t read ASDF. My response to wombn on one of Lou’s "short guy" threads didn’t seem to go over too well. But, then, I didn’t expect it to either, so I’m not real surprised. I’m pretty much an asshole and a loner anyway (and an unapologetic one at that ), so walking through flames doesn’t really bother me if I think it’s for a good cause. I went back and read that thread to see what I’d missed. Lou was very angry about women, and I think wombn’s comment was right on target. You’re off-base about wombn, too. She’s no "feminist bully", but a wise and supportive member of ASD.

Sorry, but I stand by everything I said there. Now that I’ve got my posting working right, though, I’ve added some additional comments that will hopefully explain my position better. Probably won’t change any minds, but that’s life. From what I’ve seen so far, there aren’t a lot of changeable minds here anyway. I hope I’m wrong, but I’m not optimistic at the moment. As to wombn, I can’t speak for her behavior anywhere else (for the most part), but her behavior toward Lou was rude and boorish. Maybe it’s hard for you as a woman to understand how it feels to be a man branded as a Woman-Hater for what is, essentially, a breach of etiquette, but it’s standard fare for most men these days, and I think it was entirely justified in standing up to it. If this forum will defend this kind of mistreatment of its male participants, then I want no part of it. However, you’re new here, so I’ll give you another chance.

Don’t bother. What you see is what you get. Aside from my swipe at greg, this is pretty much me. So, you might as well go join up with the lynch mob now and get it over with. icarus

Response:

Thanks, Karen. It’s so hard for me to love myself, though, when everybody turns away from me in disgust. And the habits of a lifetime are so deep I’m not even aware of what I’m doing until it’s too late. This is a typical example: Last week at work, a woman came in carrying a small gift. "Are you Ginny?" she asked. I was amazed that anyone would come into the place I work and call me by name, since I’m just a temp. She introduced herself as the rep from my agency (not my rep, but the company’s, which is why we’d never met) and handed me the package. For a minute I thought she was giving me a gift, and the thought that ran through my mind is "I don’t deserve anything. What have I done that’s worth rewarding?" As it turns out, she had a small gift for my supervisor, who had left for the day, and she wanted me to give it to her. I was shaken by my feelings – not disappointment, but the fact that I don’t believe I deserve anything good, not even a small thing. — Bluebird

Response:

Maybe it’s hard for you as a man to understand how offensive it is to hear ourselves put down in the most vulgar sexual terms.

On the contrary, I think you are taking your own personal definition of "vulgar", assigning it the status of a Woman-Haters’ Insult, and then projecting that assumption onto any male who fails to adopt your personal linguistic preferences. And, FWIW, as a man I *do* understand what it means to be the object of a gender-based slur. The term Woman-Hater is one of them. "Breach of etiquette"??? That’s putting it mildly.

That is a matter of perspective. Just because you see it this way, however, does not turn every person who sees it differently into a hater of women. Women rarely refer to men in such a manner.

You can’t be serious in this. Do the terms "dick", "prick", "asshole", etc. not ring a bell? (and I include the latter because I have *never* heard it used to refer to a woman, at least not yet). I might not use the term "woman-hater", but I think Lou doesn’t respect women, based on the side he’s shown here.

Which is to say : Lou uses Dirty Words, therefore he "doesn’t respect women", which makes him a misogynist — but you "might" refrain from using the (synonymous) term "woman-hater" because of it. Fine. What term would you prefer? At this point, the differences are purely semantic. However, you’re new here, so I’ll give you another chance. Don’t bother. What you see is what you get. Aside from my swipe at greg, this is pretty much me. So, you might as well go join up with the lynch mob now and get it over with. icarus I’m not much for lynch mobs. I welcomed you in a different thread.

Yes, you did, and I appreciated it. But you’ve also apologized for that in another thread, and lamented what a terrible judge of character you were. Thanks a lot. icarus

Response:

Maybe it’s hard for you as a man to understand how offensive it is to hear ourselves put down in the most vulgar sexual terms. "Breach of etiquette"??? That’s putting it mildly. Women rarely refer to men in such a manner. I might not use the term "woman-hater", but I think Lou doesn’t respect women, based on the side he’s shown here. However, you’re new here, so I’ll give you another chance. Don’t bother. What you see is what you get. Aside from my swipe at greg, this is pretty much me. So, you might as well go join up with the lynch mob now and get it over with. icarus

I’m not much for lynch mobs. I welcomed you in a different thread. — Bluebird

Response:

I am around, but not as much as I used to be. Feel free to e mail me though I may be slow in responding. For those I haven’t responded to in e mail or on posts, I lost a lot of e mail updating the "outlook express" on this computer. Take care and hang in there, Rick (info_junky_rick) ICQ 1812772

Response:

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