Contempt of Court — Help
Question:
I wish people would stop the generalizations in this
group. Let’s face it, there are schmucks who are women and schmucks who are men. It is more a matter of *character*. It’s not that ALL women are
vindictive….and ALL men are jerks.
Yes, this is very true, but even you admit elsewhere in your message that the courts caught up to him on his CS. And they would prosecute him if he did not meet his obligations. But if his wife, who we are taking at your word is not a schmuck, messed around with court orders or had CS awards outstanding against her, the courts would be much less likely to act. Why, well, politically let’s just put it this way. When was the last time you hear Clinton talk about "deadbeat parents" let alone "deadbeat mummies". It is "deadbeat dads" ladies and germs. For to a democrat or a liberal only a man can be blamed for society’s failures. Women are just frail little beings that need all of government’s protection. Shoot, this keeps up and all that will be left in the US is women.
Response:
I am in California. Gender has nothing to do with contempt. If it’s an act of contempt and you are convicted, you, after two convictions WILL go to jail. It’s not a gender dependent issue.
- I wish people would stop the generalizations in this -group. Let’s face it, – there are schmucks who are women and schmucks who are -men. It is more a – matter of *character*. It’s not that ALL women are -vindictive….and ALL – men are jerks. – -Yes, this is very true, but even you admit elsewhere in -your message that the courts caught up to him on his CS. -And they would prosecute him if he did not meet his -obligations. But if his wife, who we are taking at your -word is not a schmuck, messed around with court orders or -had CS awards outstanding against her, the courts would be -much less likely to act. Why, well, politically let’s just -put it this way. When was the last time you hear Clinton -talk about "deadbeat parents" let alone "deadbeat mummies". – It is "deadbeat dads" ladies and germs. For to a democrat -or a liberal only a man can be blamed for society’s -failures. Women are just frail little beings that need all -of government’s protection. – -Shoot, this keeps up and all that will be left in the US is -women. || Nothing is smarter than a thinking human ||
Response:
I’m glad you replied to John because his words were like daggers. Not everyone’s situation is the same. And when you’re a 49 yo with 4 grown kids whose husband has a midlife and leaves for a girl 15 yr.younger and you were never led to believe there was a problem, it doesn’t necessarily mean your head was in the sand and it also doesn’t mean the answer is finding someone new for yourself. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – And again, this is the worst advice I’ve ever seen handed out by someone who says he’s helping others. Obviously, John, you’ve never gone through a divorce: it’s hell. Even if you’re the person who filed, it hurts like ruddy hell. It is absolutely the worst time to get involved with someone else. There the recently-divorced mom goes, sharing her roiling and unresolved emotions with someone new, having to deal with the still-roiling and unresolved emotions of her children, her ex, and her family. This is one of the main reasons why I advocate that both mates seek out new "significant others" during/after the divorce process. The reason why many women go after their Ex’s to an absurd sense is because these women are angry about *their own* lives and the new found lonliness they have in it post-divorce. Look at it from their point of view: they got the kids, house and a good part of their Ex’s cash until the kids become 18 or 23 (depending on the state) and they’re having one hell of a time restarting their own lives. Divorced moms having the custody of kids are in this "between world" — they’re not invited to many of the "family" parties where intact couples socialiize with other intact couples plus they’re not really carefree single women either. That is, once the divorce comes around, quite a few of those invitations to other neighborhood X-mas parties stop being issued to them because the other still married women tend to feel uncomfortable about these divorced moms socially mixing with *their* husbands. Conversely, in the "singles" scene, women with kids aren’t exactly free to do all the fun spontaneous things singles like to do because they have to be constantly taking care of the kids. This all works together to make divorced moms very lonely (and hence bitter) people even if they took their husbands completely to the cleaners. It just irks them that their ex-husbands *still* manage to find a happier post-divorce relationship even though mom did everything she could to destroy the bastard. They start developing that bitter "I don’t need ANYBODY" lifestyle where they just completely submerge their own lives into raising their kids. Or many times these moms can only attract "questionable" men in their lives, guys who just want to use them for sex or whatever. Also, many times the kids have a LOT of problems with these new men in their mom’s life. This, contrary to what these women say, is a *survival* technique — not a way to *thrive* in life. If these moms had *real* new romances in their lives, where they had a new man who really did care for *them*, they’d lose interest in going after their Ex’s in court. Divorced moms just want what we all want in life — to be loved and happy. This is why we in the Fathers Group tell our members to do their best to help their ex-wives get a new beginning. It’ll not only be good for mom, it’ll be good for the kids and for the divorced dads, too! – John Cooley
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – "Being a divorced father shouldn’t mean you can’t know your own children." The Fathers Group meets in Framingham, Massachusetts on the 2nd Tuesday of every month. Our address, etc.: The Fathers Group, 908 Concord St., Framingham, MA 01701 phone (508) 879-4585. Feel free to join us!
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – : This is one of the main reasons why I advocate that both mates seek out : new "significant others" during/after the divorce process. john’s good at leaving things behind… like his integrity… some 20 days ago he started a thread and in it characterized n.o.w. as anti-family… from that flowed questions that some 15 days later, he is still avoiding.. it seems that n.o.w. is right… fathers-rights groups, as guided by such as john, are anti-feminist…
Now if you accused him of being anti-family or anti-humanist, I would pay some attention. But since you only accuse him of failing to support a group dedicated to seeking special treatment for women, in addition to their other more acceptable goals and objectives, I think he probably takes it as a compliment–I know I would. David
Response:
And again, this is the worst advice I’ve ever seen handed out by someone who says he’s helping others. Obviously, John, you’ve never gone through a divorce: it’s hell. Even if you’re the person who filed, it hurts like ruddy hell. It is absolutely the worst time to get involved with someone else. There the recently-divorced mom goes, sharing her roiling and unresolved emotions with someone new, having to deal with the still-roiling and unresolved emotions of her children, her ex, and her family. What a recipe for success. Getting a divorce leaves you feeling like a basket case for quite a while (please note the preponderance of posts up here wondering, ‘when will this stop hurting? It’s been x years…’) and all my dating experience has shown me that being a basket case is about as appealing as having that short, butch hair and overweight you go on about. Yes, if Mom is involved with someone else it may take some pressure off the poor, maligned ex-husband for awhile. But the cost of that ‘peace’ to the kids involved is horrendous as they watch a statistically-probable rebound relationship tromp through their mom’s life. And this is true for men, by the way. And please save your pity for the woman with children who lives in a between world with no place to go. I had absolutely no problem dating with two daughters ‘dragging’ me down. Not all men are like you and refuse to date women with children. Please, get some personal, practical experience with pain before you run about giving advice. And I’m not even trying to say that a counselor needs to have experienced the situation before he/she can give advice. Not even my priest (a man who’s never been married or divorced) tried telling me to get another man right away. Sheesh. Bess – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – This is one of the main reasons why I advocate that both mates seek out new "significant others" during/after the divorce process. The reason why many women go after their Ex’s to an absurd sense is because these women are angry about *their own* lives and the new found lonliness they have in it post-divorce. Look at it from their point of view: they got the kids, house and a good part of their Ex’s cash until the kids become 18 or 23 (depending on the state) and they’re having one hell of a time restarting their own lives. Divorced moms having the custody of kids are in this "between world" — they’re not invited to many of the "family" parties where intact couples socialiize with other intact couples plus they’re not really carefree single women either. That is, once the divorce comes around, quite a few of those invitations to other neighborhood X-mas parties stop being issued to them because the other still married women tend to feel uncomfortable about these divorced moms socially mixing with *their* husbands. Conversely, in the "singles" scene, women with kids aren’t exactly free to do all the fun spontaneous things singles like to do because they have to be constantly taking care of the kids. This all works together to make divorced moms very lonely (and hence bitter) people even if they took their husbands completely to the cleaners. It just irks them that their ex-husbands *still* manage to find a happier post-divorce relationship even though mom did everything she could to destroy the bastard. They start developing that bitter "I don’t need ANYBODY" lifestyle where they just completely submerge their own lives into raising their kids. Or many times these moms can only attract "questionable" men in their lives, guys who just want to use them for sex or whatever. Also, many times the kids have a LOT of problems with these new men in their mom’s life. This, contrary to what these women say, is a *survival* technique — not a way to *thrive* in life. If these moms had *real* new romances in their lives, where they had a new man who really did care for *them*, they’d lose interest in going after their Ex’s in court. Divorced moms just want what we all want in life — to be loved and happy. This is why we in the Fathers Group tell our members to do their best to help their ex-wives get a new beginning. It’ll not only be good for mom, it’ll be good for the kids and for the divorced dads, too! – John Cooley "Being a divorced father shouldn’t mean you can’t know your own children." The Fathers Group meets in Framingham, Massachusetts on the 2nd Tuesday of every month. Our address, etc.: The Fathers Group, 908 Concord St., Framingham, MA 01701 phone (508) 879-4585. Feel free to join us!
Response:
it seems that n.o.w. is right… fathers-rights groups, as guided by such as john, are anti-feminist…
I would hope so femme boy.
Response:
: <snip : : This is one of the main reasons why I advocate that both mates seek out : : new "significant others" during/after the divorce process. : <snip : john’s good at leaving things behind… : like his integrity… : some 20 days ago he started a thread and in it : characterized n.o.w. as anti-family… : from that flowed questions that some 15 days later, : he is still avoiding.. : it seems that n.o.w. is right… fathers-rights groups, : as guided by such as john, are anti-feminist… : From what I’ve seen, NOW is anti-family…..what organization would : equate dads with spouse abusers, just because they want to be dads to : their kids? This is stated on the NOW web site, which I have since been : avoiding because of a rumor that there are viruses there. it is easy to make charges… no so easy to substantiate them… n.o.w.’s page is public, their text is quotable and absent from your article… — alan madsen – new york, n.y.
Response:
: it seems that n.o.w. is right… fathers-rights groups, : as guided by such as john, are anti-feminist… : I would hope so femme boy. get on track… fathers-rights groups, lead by such as john, do not admit that… — alan madsen – new york, n.y.
Response:
: : This is one of the main reasons why I advocate that both mates seek out : : new "significant others" during/after the divorce process. : john’s good at leaving things behind… : like his integrity… : some 20 days ago he started a thread and in it : characterized n.o.w. as anti-family… : from that flowed questions that some 15 days later, : he is still avoiding.. : it seems that n.o.w. is right… fathers-rights groups, : as guided by such as john, are anti-feminist… : Yo… : Personally, I *still* think that John is simply ignoring a certifiable : looney. having seen what you call thinking, i am aware that you can’t… (see, its easy… reason is a little harder to come up with)… — alan madsen – new york, n.y.
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – <snip : This is one of the main reasons why I advocate that both mates seek out : new "significant others" during/after the divorce process. <snip john’s good at leaving things behind… like his integrity… some 20 days ago he started a thread and in it characterized n.o.w. as anti-family… from that flowed questions that some 15 days later, he is still avoiding.. it seems that n.o.w. is right… fathers-rights groups, as guided by such as john, are anti-feminist… — alan madsen – new york, n.y. Yo… Personally, I *still* think that John is simply ignoring a certifiable looney. Cheers! Ron
And the proof of certifiable looniness (looney certifiability?) is that Mr. Madsen disputes the notion that the National Organization for Women is anti-family! Next Mr. Madsen will be disputing the propositions that the Pope is Catholic, that the world is round, and that bears defecate in the woods. Conclusive proof of certifiability is Mr. Madsen’s idea that, given the nature of the organized feminist movement, there is something surprising — and wrong — about fathers-rights groups being anti-feminist. Since feminists are so obviously opposed to fathers’ rights, what on earth does he expect? Bring on the men in the white coats!
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – <snip : This is one of the main reasons why I advocate that both mates seek out : new "significant others" during/after the divorce process. <snip john’s good at leaving things behind… like his integrity… some 20 days ago he started a thread and in it characterized n.o.w. as anti-family… from that flowed questions that some 15 days later, he is still avoiding.. it seems that n.o.w. is right… fathers-rights groups, as guided by such as john, are anti-feminist… — alan madsen – new york, n.y.
Yo… Personally, I *still* think that John is simply ignoring a certifiable looney. Cheers! Ron
Response:
<snip : This is one of the main reasons why I advocate that both mates seek out : new "significant others" during/after the divorce process. <snip john’s good at leaving things behind… like his integrity… some 20 days ago he started a thread and in it characterized n.o.w. as anti-family… from that flowed questions that some 15 days later, he is still avoiding.. it seems that n.o.w. is right… fathers-rights groups, as guided by such as john, are anti-feminist… — alan madsen – new york, n.y.
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Obsession and anger are not areas monopolized by men. On the contrary, MOST of the vindictive, bitter, aggressive divorcees I have seen seem to be female. They can’t just let things settle down after a divorce. They have to continually seek new revenge. How DARE their ex settle down into a new life with any evidence of comfort. They must be made miserable! They must be constantly punished and reminded how evil they were to abandon their spouse! I’m sick of it. I have watched several male friends go through nasty divorces where their ex couldn’t just get on with their lives. These women have to stick around and harrass them at every opportunity. But I don’t mean to say that only females are vindictive. Certainly both genders are at fault. In a situation where one of the ex-spouses is avoiding their legal responsibilities, such as skipping out on child support, that’s one thing. But why take it to ridiculous lengths? The only times I have seen it taken to ridiculous lengths, it has been a woman exacting revenge upon a man. One friend of mine recently bought new eyeglasses, and the ex went ballistic when she saw them! How DARE he spend money on himself when he should be giving it all to her! So she took him to court to try to get her alimony payments stepped up. She just can’t stand the thought that he ever has any peace or comfort in life, even with a new prescription in his eyeglasses. She wants him to be punished eternally. Every extra nickle he earns is snatched away by her. He deserves nothing but misery, and she deserves all his money. If she could, she’d have him jailed. She hasn’t figured out a way yet, but she’s working on it night and day. Meanwhile, all he wants to do is come home and watch a football game and be left alone. Is that too much to ask?
This is one of the main reasons why I advocate that both mates seek out new "significant others" during/after the divorce process. The reason why many women go after their Ex’s to an absurd sense is because these women are angry about *their own* lives and the new found lonliness they have in it post-divorce. Look at it from their point of view: they got the kids, house and a good part of their Ex’s cash until the kids become 18 or 23 (depending on the state) and they’re having one hell of a time restarting their own lives. Divorced moms having the custody of kids are in this "between world" — they’re not invited to many of the "family" parties where intact couples socialiize with other intact couples plus they’re not really carefree single women either. That is, once the divorce comes around, quite a few of those invitations to other neighborhood X-mas parties stop being issued to them because the other still married women tend to feel uncomfortable about these divorced moms socially mixing with *their* husbands. Conversely, in the "singles" scene, women with kids aren’t exactly free to do all the fun spontaneous things singles like to do because they have to be constantly taking care of the kids. This all works together to make divorced moms very lonely (and hence bitter) people even if they took their husbands completely to the cleaners. It just irks them that their ex-husbands *still* manage to find a happier post-divorce relationship even though mom did everything she could to destroy the bastard. They start developing that bitter "I don’t need ANYBODY" lifestyle where they just completely submerge their own lives into raising their kids. Or many times these moms can only attract "questionable" men in their lives, guys who just want to use them for sex or whatever. Also, many times the kids have a LOT of problems with these new men in their mom’s life. This, contrary to what these women say, is a *survival* technique — not a way to *thrive* in life. If these moms had *real* new romances in their lives, where they had a new man who really did care for *them*, they’d lose interest in going after their Ex’s in court. Divorced moms just want what we all want in life — to be loved and happy. This is why we in the Fathers Group tell our members to do their best to help their ex-wives get a new beginning. It’ll not only be good for mom, it’ll be good for the kids and for the divorced dads, too! – John Cooley "Being a divorced father shouldn’t mean you can’t know your own children." The Fathers Group meets in Framingham, Massachusetts on the 2nd Tuesday of every month. Our address, etc.: The Fathers Group, 908 Concord St., Framingham, MA 01701 phone (508) 879-4585. Feel free to join us!
Response:
-[ If she's "attempting to jail you" the strong inference, as I hear that, is there's a reasonable possibility you're NOT cooperating. My ex actually believes in his mind that it is HE, not the judge, who should make the rules. And that includes changing them to suit his purpose at any given time. Nice guy. -Yes Sunny, I'm sure you (and I) will get a flamed badly for honestly speaking -the truth I've seen first hand throughout my divorce. I want to get the legal -stuff over with, get away, forget what she looks like and move on to a new -relationship. She would rather drag out the court dates (SHE delayed the last -three), file all manner of false charges in an attempt to get me jailed, and -not let things end. - -I hope your friend's ex doesn't meet my s2bx, or he will be in jail (the court -and legal system makes it remarkably easy, your friend's ex must be very naive -to have not figured it out yet). - -Again, before I get flamed as a women bad, men good loony, let me state again -that I honestly believe there are real male jerks out there. That's just not -the experience I come from, the majority of cases from what I hear in support -groups and such or the point Sunny is addressing. - -Sunny, thanx again for having the courage to express what I've been finding -since I entered this little hell called 'divorcing a psycho.' - -[sigh--ignore -this text -it's added -only to get -past the 'more -quoted than -original text -error message || Nothing is smarter than a thinking human ||
Response:
- Hide quoted text -- Show quoted text - Yes Sunny, I'm sure you (and I) will get a flamed badly for honestly speaking the truth I've seen first hand throughout my divorce. I want to get the legal stuff over with, get away, forget what she looks like and move on to a new relationship. She would rather drag out the court dates (SHE delayed the last three), file all manner of false charges in an attempt to get me jailed, and not let things end. I hope your friend's ex doesn't meet my s2bx, or he will be in jail (the court and legal system makes it remarkably easy, your friend's ex must be very naive to have not figured it out yet). Again, before I get flamed as a women bad, men good loony, let me state again that I honestly believe there are real male jerks out there. That's just not the experience I come from, the majority of cases from what I hear in support groups and such or the point Sunny is addressing. Sunny, thanx again for having the courage to express what I've been finding since I entered this little hell called 'divorcing a psycho.'
Hi David, Actually in my friend's case, the ex has figured out a lot of mean tricks, but he knows her game well, and has covered his butt against most of them. See, she has something called Borderline Personality Disorder, which means she is psychotic in the sense that she lies and projects and threatens and manipulates, and regularly throws major violent rages at him whenever he tries to pick up the kids for visitation, but she is entirely capable of acting normal when she wants to be believed by the authorities. Unfortunately for her, the courts are getting tired of hearing from her. She has tried dozens of times to get him jailed for this or that. She delayed the divorce for over two years -- whenever a final court date was set, she'd have her lawyer file a new motion that would throw everything into renewed unheaval. She has just about spent the entire divorce settlement on ways to get back at him, so the legal games should be ending soon. Her favorite game is to call him over and over to list all the things she COULD have gotten him arrested for, but didn't. The only things she did succeed in doing to him was having him arrested for a marijuana joint that mysteriously appeared in his car, and she also got him fired from his job for taking home some surplus computer parts five years earlier (she still has the computer he assembled out of the parts.) There just isn't anything else to pin on him. The kids know she's nuts, so they'd never go along with false abuse charges coming from her, so at least he's fairly safe from that. The last time she assaulted him, he stepped to one side as she charged at him, and she fell against the wall. She called the police to press battery charges against him, but the cops didn't buy it! She just can't get over it. She won't move on. This disruptive ongoing battle that she holds him hostage in is her way of extending the relationship. She would rather have a violent, hateful relationship with him than none at all. He just wants to -- like you said -- forget what she looks like and move on. If there weren't kids involved, he'd be living on another coast by now. Sorry to hear that you have been through similar woes. There is no hell on earth like this. And there is no end in sight! email me if you want to trade war stories... Sunny
Response:
[snip old post] – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Obsession and anger are not areas monopolized by men. On the contrary, MOST of the vindictive, bitter, aggressive divorcees I have seen seem to be female. They can’t just let things settle down after a divorce. They have to continually seek new revenge. How DARE their ex settle down into a new life with any evidence of comfort. They must be made miserable! They must be constantly punished and reminded how evil they were to abandon their spouse! I’m sick of it. I have watched several male friends go through nasty divorces where their ex couldn’t just get on with their lives. These women have to stick around and harrass them at every opportunity. But I don’t mean to say that only females are vindictive. Certainly both genders are at fault. In a situation where one of the ex-spouses is avoiding their legal responsibilities, such as skipping out on child support, that’s one thing. But why take it to ridiculous lengths? The only times I have seen it taken to ridiculous lengths, it has been a woman exacting revenge upon a man. One friend of mine recently bought new eyeglasses, and the ex went ballistic when she saw them! How DARE he spend money on himself when he should be giving it all to her! So she took him to court to try to get her alimony payments stepped up. She just can’t stand the thought that he ever has any peace or comfort in life, even with a new prescription in his eyeglasses. She wants him to be punished eternally. Every extra nickle he earns is snatched away by her. He deserves nothing but misery, and she deserves all his money. If she could, she’d have him jailed. She hasn’t figured out a way yet, but she’s working on it night and day. Meanwhile, all he wants to do is come home and watch a football game and be left alone. Is that too much to ask?
[snip supposition of cause, irrelevent to my point] I may be reverse-sexist, and I don’t speak for most women here, but in my view, most men are more willing to walk away and start over than their exes are. I am not saying ALL women are this way, or that ALL men just want to get on with their lives. I’ve just seen more post-divorce abuse perpetrated against men than women. I’m sure I am setting myself up for a flame-fest here, but so be it. Sunny
Yes Sunny, I’m sure you (and I) will get a flamed badly for honestly speaking the truth I’ve seen first hand throughout my divorce. I want to get the legal stuff over with, get away, forget what she looks like and move on to a new relationship. She would rather drag out the court dates (SHE delayed the last three), file all manner of false charges in an attempt to get me jailed, and not let things end. I hope your friend’s ex doesn’t meet my s2bx, or he will be in jail (the court and legal system makes it remarkably easy, your friend’s ex must be very naive to have not figured it out yet). Again, before I get flamed as a women bad, men good loony, let me state again that I honestly believe there are real male jerks out there. That’s just not the experience I come from, the majority of cases from what I hear in support groups and such or the point Sunny is addressing. Sunny, thanx again for having the courage to express what I’ve been finding since I entered this little hell called ‘divorcing a psycho.’ [sigh–ignore this text it’s added only to get past the ‘more quoted than original text error message
Response:
What does all this have to do with contempt? To you, a desire for peace and cooperation, apparently is the same as ….what? I don’t get it…Do you have any idea what it’s like? I don’t think so. Never knowing.."Is he going to return the kids, or am I going to have to send the Marshall out again?" "If he doesn’t pay the support AGAIN this month, I won’t be able to pay the rent…." on and on…contempt isn’t something done on a whim…it’s done out of utter desperation. || Nothing is smarter than a thinking human ||
Response:
Why can’t you people leave these guys alone and just get on with your lives?? Why do you have to work so hard to make your ex’s lives miserable?? All some women think about is revenge and punishment for their ex. It makes me sick!
The simple minded, vicious men who post on these news groups are horrifying..And NO! I don’t hate men. I have healthy normal men in my life, and generally enjoy the company of male friends , or dates or whatever. The concentration of obsessive and angry men in these newsgroups is enough to scare anyone!!
I don’t know if you were referring to my post, but… Surprise, I am female! Obsession and anger are not areas monopolized by men. On the contrary, MOST of the vindictive, bitter, aggressive divorcees I have seen seem to be female. They can’t just let things settle down after a divorce. They have to continually seek new revenge. How DARE their ex settle down into a new life with any evidence of comfort. They must be made miserable! They must be constantly punished and reminded how evil they were to abandon their spouse! I’m sick of it. I have watched several male friends go through nasty divorces where their ex couldn’t just get on with their lives. These women have to stick around and harrass them at every opportunity. But I don’t mean to say that only females are vindictive. Certainly both genders are at fault. In a situation where one of the ex-spouses is avoiding their legal responsibilities, such as skipping out on child support, that’s one thing. But why take it to ridiculous lengths? The only times I have seen it taken to ridiculous lengths, it has been a woman exacting revenge upon a man. One friend of mine recently bought new eyeglasses, and the ex went ballistic when she saw them! How DARE he spend money on himself when he should be giving it all to her! So she took him to court to try to get her alimony payments stepped up. She just can’t stand the thought that he ever has any peace or comfort in life, even with a new prescription in his eyeglasses. She wants him to be punished eternally. Every extra nickle he earns is snatched away by her. He deserves nothing but misery, and she deserves all his money. If she could, she’d have him jailed. She hasn’t figured out a way yet, but she’s working on it night and day. Meanwhile, all he wants to do is come home and watch a football game and be left alone. Is that too much to ask? In a perverse way, it appears that the endless string of confrontations and fresh accusations by her, and the constant court dates being set for this or for that, is all her way of maintaining contact with him. Even if the only way to stay in his life is to have an angry, mean-spirited relationship with him, so be it — at least to her, it is a relationship. All he wants is to be left alone and get on with his life, preferably without her. But she just won’t leave it alone. I may be reverse-sexist, and I don’t speak for most women here, but in my view, most men are more willing to walk away and start over than their exes are. I am not saying ALL women are this way, or that ALL men just want to get on with their lives. I’ve just seen more post-divorce abuse perpetrated against men than women. I’m sure I am setting myself up for a flame-fest here, but so be it. Sunny
Response:
What does all this have to do with contempt? To you, a desire for peace and cooperation, apparently is the same as ….what? I don’t get it…Do you have any idea what it’s like? I don’t think so. Never knowing.."Is he going to return the kids, or am I going to have to send the Marshall out again?" "If he doesn’t pay the support AGAIN this month, I won’t be able to pay the rent…." on and on…contempt isn’t something done on a whim…it’s done out of utter desperation.
How come the support payment isn’t taken directly out of his paycheck, like most people? That way, he isn’t GIVEN the opportunity to stiff you. And not returning the children after visitation isn’t contempt of court — it is kidnapping, a felony, and that’s a whole different league. To me, a desire for peace and cooperation is the same as … leaving very few opportunities for rancor and derision to arise. What I am talking about is harrassment and abuse of the court system. If you have just cause to haul your ex into court, fine. But if you are just trying to prolong everyone’s misery by badgering your ex through the courts for every little transgression, that is entirely another. I keep hearing of contempt charges sought against exes as though it were a SPORT of some kind.
Response:
The simple minded, vicious men who post on these news groups are horrifying..And NO! I don’t hate men. I have healthy normal men in my life, and generally enjoy the company of male friends , or dates or whatever. The concentration of obsessive and angry men in these newsgroups is enough to scare anyone!!
– – Hi! I need some help! I am in Iowa and have been – divorced for amost a year. My ex has not followed – much of the divorce decree (especially the – financial part) and I want to file contempt – charges on him. Unfortunately, I don’t have – financial resources to hire an attorney, but I – have heard that there are a lot of things a – person can file with the court by themselves. –
- – I’m in California. I go to court on Dec. 10 on a contempt action I filed in – pro per (no attorney) against my ex-husband. I bought a second-hand copy of – – -Why can’t you people leave these guys alone and just get on with your lives?? – -Why do you have to work so hard to make your ex’s lives miserable?? – -All some women think about is revenge and punishment for their ex. It -makes me sick! – -Grow up and get a life! || Nothing is smarter than a thinking human ||
Response:
Hi! I need some help! I am in Iowa and have been divorced for amost a year. My ex has not followed much of the divorce decree (especially the financial part) and I want to file contempt charges on him. Unfortunately, I don’t have financial resources to hire an attorney, but I have heard that there are a lot of things a person can file with the court by themselves.
I’m in California. I go to court on Dec. 10 on a contempt action I filed in pro per (no attorney) against my ex-husband. I bought a second-hand copy of
Why can’t you people leave these guys alone and just get on with your lives?? Why do you have to work so hard to make your ex’s lives miserable?? All some women think about is revenge and punishment for their ex. It makes me sick! Grow up and get a life!
Response:
Like my friend, whose beloved Ex makes well over 100k…and she’s making 24k because she quit college to put him through grad school, stayed home at *his* request to raise the kids, and followed him around the country as he took different executive positions? Then after 14 years of marriage he decides to leave her for a younger model? She is the custodial parent because she *IS* the better parent to their two kids. And "Ex" tried screwing around with the child support payments *until* she filed contempt of court charges. HE was the one trying to be vindictive by controlling when and how much money he paid. (Of course, this directly affects the kids). He also lied in court on how much "fringe" benefits he was getting…Oops! forgot about all those stock options for his company that went public right after their divorce!(Yeah,right!) She didn’t bring THAT up in the contempt of court case….she just wanted him to follow through on what he agreed to in court. Oh…and don’t think that he has it so rough in any event. He’s already been through *3* live-in girlfriends in 1 1/2 years, taken some pretty grand trips "sans kids" and also bought a high-end townhouse that most of us(yes..men and women) would love to own. Hey..If someone goes against a court order then… NEWSFLASH: That *IS* contempt of court! There are situations such as the above that cause people to press these charges, and it usually doesn’t just happen out of the blue. I wish people would stop the generalizations in this group. Let’s face it, there are schmucks who are women and schmucks who are men. It is more a matter of *character*. It’s not that ALL women are vindictive….and ALL men are jerks. I haven’t seen, talked to….or even WANTED to be vindictive to my jerk…er..Ex since our divorce 2 years ago! 
Cheers Suzanne — The opinions expressed in this message are my own personal views and do not reflect the official views of Microsoft Corporation Hi! I need some help! I am in Iowa and have been divorced for amost a year. My ex has not followed much of the divorce decree (especially the financial part) and I want to file contempt charges on him. Unfortunately, I don’t have financial resources to hire an attorney, but I have heard that there are a lot of things a person can file with the court by themselves.
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I’m in California. I go to court on Dec. 10 on a contempt action I filed in pro per (no attorney) against my ex-husband. I bought a second-hand copy of Why can’t you people leave these guys alone and just get on with your lives?? Why do you have to work so hard to make your ex’s lives miserable?? All some women think about is revenge and punishment for their ex. It makes me sick! Grow up and get a life!
Response:
I’m in California. I go to court on Dec. 10 on a contempt action I filed in pro per (no attorney) against my ex-husband. I bought a second-hand copy of "Civil Procedure Before Trial", Student’s edition-published by The Rutger Group and written by Weil and Brown. It enumerates everything that must be done (in California) from the details of the paperwork to the essential points that must be made in your declaration.
Filed under: Feminist
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