Activism Change

Chick Singer Infractions

Question:

funny …..you can make your own jokes under the NOW gang rules cant you?? – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – x-no-archive: yes I like Joe’s list but,  it seems to me it flyz for both (uh-em all) sexes. That’s if your in place where your allowing this kinda crud. My friend Mia has a favorite line of hers she uses "Some of us have kissed a lot of frogs etc. etc." If he(Joe) composed that list himself, I’d hate being the one that motivated him to think this stuff up. Joe, some of those are sooooo sad man. I get pretty repulsed if someone wants to share their crusty mic(yuck). I’m lighting a candle for you my friend. But  IT ! I can’t believe we got more than a  "WHAT IN F*CK-ALL DOES THIS SHIT HAVE TO DO WITH GUITARS, YOU F*CK?"  line from you. (grin)… LL Brings rock collection on the road – $1,000 Leaves passport in airline luggage – pays the bribe brings tools of witchcraft on road – turned into a toad

Response:

funny …..you can make your own jokes under the NOW gang rules cant you??

What, are you afraid of feminists? A word of advice, if there is any joke that you would feel uncomfortable substituting the word "woman" [or "chick," etc.] with the words "african- american," "jew," "asian," or "latino," [or nigger, kike, gook or wetback], then don’t make it. It’s not funny. So, ask yourself, would the list have been as funner as "Kike singer infractions?" MF

Response:

Man, the list is funny because it is true. There is not one chick singer I can think of that hasn’t done at least one of those things on the list at some point in her career. So can your politically correct bullshit. It was a JOKE. get over it

Response:

Takes up over one hour getting EQ setting on monitors, still gripes about them, $75

I ran sound for a friend’s band.  The singer has a squeaky, whispery type voice.  I was at FOH, where the monitor EQ happened to be at this particular club.  I got the band to come off the stage and quickly rang the monitors out.   When they got back on stage, the singer said she couldn’t hear the monitors.  I’m thinking "hmm… seems like I got the right frequencies… made sure there wasn’t any dips as well.."… Turned it up a notch, could hear it start to ring, notched that out a bit… she still complained relentlessly…. started insinuating things about my ability (mind you, I was doing this as a freebie…)… I give here some more mid "that sounds horrible"… so I gave her some more sibilance .. "that’s too hissy"… "I can’t hear myself"… etc… anyhow, it got to be time to open doors, so… She complained in between every song.. "well, we would be better if we had a good soundman" etc.. I came close to walking, but was good friends with the bass player and drummer – and knew they knew she was being a complete bitch. "I can’t hear a thing I’m singing!!" she kept saying… meanwhile, she also insisted on sloppily playing her guitar through a Twin cranked up to about 8 or 9…  PFL the vocal and you hear the guitar screaming through… So, after her set I walked up on stage, just for kicks…. I COULD HEAR MYSELF BREATHING AS I WALKED UP TO THE MIC. Monitors were loud as hell, they would take your head off.  Couldn’t be any louder. Total BS, and her big trip is walking around pretending how "sweet" she is, "mean people suck" sticker on her case and all.  She now writes for a really big production company in Nashville – I can only imagine the expressions on guys up there when she does her whispering routine and complains she can’t hear herself over her Twin…. Dates a musician in band, $50

The bass player in the above said band was in another group with a girl singer; pretended they didn’t have a "thing" going on, band self destructed right while they were getting a bidding frenzy going, thanks to the singer deciding to start playing games with this guy with the guitar player….  Great timing. Argues with band members onstage, $150

How about slugs a band member, then slams mic on stage? Argues onstage with boyfriend musician, $200

How about argues onstage with everyone? Holds guitar but doesn’t play, $15

The singer from the first scenario decided she needed a backup singer, so she enlisted a friend – WHO HAS ZERO EXPERIENCE, HAS NEVER SUNG IN HER LIFE… This band was touring all over, had nice gigs lined up.. and suddenly they’re got another girl with a light little, basically non-existent voice, that’s additionally not in tune.  So, to feel important, she bought her own mic and carried it around in a big case, so she would have something to bring onto stage… Sings too softly, $5

!!!!! Dumps management, band etc. after making the big time, $10,000

The first singer mentioned…mysteriosly started having more and more solo gigs, the more hooked up she became…  so that by the time she’s in the biggest studio in Nashville recording demos, my friend the drummer found himself hearing someone else play his parts… (which were *not* done as well as him.. and included a neat little signature accent he does, that has since found its way onto some other recordings…)…. Lesson learned/confirmed truth: it pays to be ruthless in the music business. Chip McDonald ]]]  "Try to be reasonable whenever possible" ]]]  http://www.mindspring.com/~chipm/chip.htm ]]]  I teach guitar – check out http://www.mindspring.com/~chipm/lessons.htm ]]]  Musician, voracious reader, overly contemplative thinker, punching bag for fate. ]]] "People think I’m in my own world; that’s ok, they know me there" –  J. Hodgson

Response:

What’s the penalty for the chick who has to get up and sing with EVERY band that plays in ANY club she happens to be in. She’s not a bad singer, but it got a little old after a while going out to a club to see a new band, and having her intruding EVERY DAMN TIME. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – CHICK SINGER INFRACTIONS SCHEDULE

Response:

Have any of you ever seen "The Young Person’s Guide To Becoming A Rock Star"? You’ll find a few more funny but true stereotypes there.

Response:

As for the PC guy, we all have different ideas of tolerance.  It was his opinion and no less valid. Intent seemed honorable.

"The PC guy?" Give me a break! To be honest, I’m amazed that my comments branded me as PC. Pretty sad commentary, that. MF

Response:

What are these? I’m afraid my rascism is somewhat out of touch. Are they some kind of infra dig country and western guitarists? Pete PS. I thought the chick singer infractions were quite funny, but the fines were a bit on the low side.

(snip) [or nigger, kike, gook or wetback], – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -So, ask yourself, would the list have been as funner as "Kike singer infractions?" MF

Response:

Brings rock collection on the road – $1,000 Leaves passport in airline luggage – pays the bribe brings tools of witchcraft on road – turned into a toad

Response:

It was a joke ….You know to make people laugh ??Made up on the tour bus – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – x-no-archive: yes I like Joe’s list but,  it seems to me it flyz for both (uh-em all) sexes. That’s if your in place where your allowing this kinda crud. My friend Mia has a favorite line of hers she uses "Some of us have kissed a lot of frogs etc. etc." If he(Joe) composed that list himself, I’d hate being the one that motivated him to think this stuff up. Joe, some of those are sooooo sad man. I get pretty repulsed if someone wants to share their crusty mic(yuck). I’m lighting a candle for you my friend. But  IT ! I can’t believe we got more than a  "WHAT IN F*CK-ALL DOES THIS SHIT HAVE TO DO WITH GUITARS, YOU F*CK?"  line from you. (grin)… LL Brings rock collection on the road – $1,000 Leaves passport in airline luggage – pays the bribe brings tools of witchcraft on road – turned into a toad

Response:

CHICK SINGER INFRACTIONS SCHEDULE Doesn’t know keys to songs, $10 Doesn’t know when to come in, $15 Leaves stage when not singing lead vocal, $20 Late for gig, $30 Walks off stage to use cell phone on gig, $15 Uses cell phone on stage during gig, $30 Modulates without informing band, $20 Lays mic down on stage and walks off stage, $15 Lays mic down facing kick drum, $20 Lays mic down facing guitar amp, $25 Lays mic down facing monitor, $50 Points mic towards monitor causing feedback during song, $75 Drops wireless mic into monitor, $300 + has to f*ck roadies Takes up over one hour getting EQ setting on monitors, still gripes about them, $75 Wants to sing Crazy by Patsy Cline more than once a night, $100 Gets off key singing a capella, $25 Leaves stage to argue with boyfriend, $35 Dates a musician in band, $50 Dates the drummer, $150 Argues with band members onstage, $150 Argues offstage with boyfriend musician, $175 Argues onstage with boyfriend musician, $200 Drops mic, $10 Can’t figure out how to connect cable to mic, $15 Holds guitar but doesn’t play, $15 Plays guitar but plays wrong chords, not plugged in, $25 Plays guitar, wrong chords, plugged in, $250 Stands onstage but doesn’t sing harmonies, $30 Sings bad harmonies, $35 Sings harmonies already contributed by band member in song, $40 Plays tambourine out of time, $50 Straight-arms mic when singing, $15 Sings too softly, $5 Leaves tambourine, drink, charts, entertainer’s secret laying all over stage, $25 Forgets original singer of song, $10 Makes up 4th verse to 3 verse song, $100 Gripes at band onstage, $20 Gripes at band onstage over mic, $75 Uses fictitious last name, $50 Powders nose, sprays perfume, sprays hairspray, brushes hair, freshens up lipstick onstage, $15 Stops song halfway through and starts over, $25 Continues singing in old key after song changes to new one, $30 Forgets words, $20 Sings verses out of order in song, $15 Forgets to sing bridge, $25 Holds words to song while singing onstage, $20 Doesn’t know how to adjust mic stand, $15 Looks at pager while singing song, $15 Sings consistently flat, $25 Appear Flat, $15 Sings consistently sharp, $25 Just plain ol’ can NOT sing, buys band a round of drinks Leaves lipstick all over mic, $100 Telling jokes over mic, $5 Telling BAD jokes over mic, $50 Telling bad joke and then laughing hysterically about it over mic, $500 Singing "Stand By Your Man" in the key of A, $30 Thinking that "Poor Pitiful Me" is a new Terri Clark song, rather than an old Warren Zevon song, $50 Thinking that "I Will Always Love You" is a new Whitney Houston song, rather than an old Dolly Parton song, $100 Dolly who? $50 Patsy who? $100 Does Ann wilson impersonation and takes up half the stage, $100 Dumps management, band etc. after making the big time, $10,000 Hates the phrase "chick singer", $500

Response:

Filed under: Feminist

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