CHAT: I am DOG! Hear me BARK!

Question:

I am *such* a brave dog!! My sister Winter is a complete wuss. All night somebody was flashing big lights in the sky and making big booming noises. Well, *I* bravely kept them away from our den by barking *every* time they made the booming noise. *ALL NIGHT LONG*! Winter, on the other paw, never barked once. She just lay on the bed like a piece of wet dog food. Sometimes she didn’t even pick her head up to see if they were trying to come into our den. *hrmpf!* I had to do all the work! But I protected Mommy. Also when Mommy let us out before we went to bed, I smelled something *REALLY* interesting in the yard, but I never found out what it was. It was *SO* interesting, though, that I didn’t even come back to the den when Mommy called me. Mommy finally went and put her paw covers on to come find me. (I’m kind of hard to see at night because my fur is night-colored.) Winter, who had gone back to the den when she called, came with her and helped find me in the yard (and then tried to chase something that was up in a tree!! Stupid Winter. It flew away over the fence and she *still* tried to chase it. Boy, she is *dumb*!). I was over in one corner area of the yard trying to find whatever was making that really interesting smell… I kept my nose to the ground, but I never did find it. *sigh* Finally, Mommy made me come inside. I’m gonna go ask her to let me out again so I can try to find it today. See ya’! -Chloe

Response:

Chloe, You are so brave. I’m also the designated protector of our pack. It’s a big responsibility but somebody has to do it. I bark and bark and bark and bark whenever I hear a noise outside. I even bark when I am all covered up under my blanket for the night. Merry the cottonball brain sammy is no help and I certainly don’t expect any from the Black Monster Enemy Cat. Keep up the good work. Kichi the Sargent dog Merry says: huh? wanna play?

Response:

I was so excited this weekend, I barked at those lights and booming noises too – but not in Iowa. When mom said she was going to Iowa, I really started my doggiedanceofjoy. Ohboy, ohboy I though I’d finally get to meet Sam-I-Am and his family, but NO! Mom kept carrying things out to the car, and I kept dancing by the door so she wouldn’t forget me, but then she just put me behind my gate and said goodbye and told dad to feed me. I had to stay home and bark at the lights. *whine* I really wanted to go. The boy pups got to go so I don’t know why I had to stay behind with dad. And then they all came home tired and wouldn’t play with me. Mommy finally went and put her paw covers on to come find me. (I’m kind of hard to see at night because my fur is night-colored. -Chloe

Well, my mom can find me pretty easily in the dark now that all the white b*th has melted. But before that, she couldn’t find me at night either. Kari _ _ n______/U " /" U______n | |/ /| | | |-___| | | |___-| | |_| |_| |_| |_| and Kathy Leggitt

Response:

Mommy finally went and put her paw covers on to come find me. (I’m kind of hard to see at night because my fur is night-colored. -Chloe Well, my mom can find me pretty easily in the dark now that all the white b*th has melted. But before that, she couldn’t find me at night either.

My mommy can’t find me at all in the dark. I’m brown with black spots, which makes perfect camoflage, especially when I stand REAL still and don’t answer when mommy calls my name. She finally has to get out the big light and then she shines it around the yard trying to find me and I always forget to close my eyes so they shine in the dark. Then mommy looks RIGHT at me and asks if I want a rice kake so I go into the house. —

Response:

Oh, we know all about that! Our eyes glow a lot, even sometimes when mommy doesn’t have the big light in her hand. They even glow on a bright-moon night. — I, Molly, DON’T bark at much. Mom says I have a beautiful bark, but I talk with my tail and my eyes. I just don’t like to BOOF a lot. — I, Que, bark A WHOLE LOT. Mostly, I bark at mom when she comes home and lets us out in the yard. I tell her how much I missed her and how bored I have been and how I wish she would stay home with us all the time! And I really barkandBARK at her, when I first go out. Then I go sniff. — Molly again. Look, Que, mom has to go earn our kibble! You don’t want us to starve, do you? MollyanQue | that’s Cinderbin Neg’s Molly Malone CD CGC ("Molly") | | and Fireside’s Que Continuum ("Que") | | both of us are Flat-Coated Trievers (and champion chewers) |

Response:

: You are so brave. I’m also the designated protector of our pack. It’s : a big responsibility but somebody has to do it. I bark and bark and bark : and bark whenever I hear a noise outside. I even bark when I am all : covered up under my blanket for the night. Merry the cottonball brain : sammy is no help and I certainly don’t expect any from the Black Monster : Enemy Cat. Keep up the good work. Me too! Hounds are supposed to bark a lot but my sister Sara doesn’t keep up her responsibility. When they let me out to go pee I *yell* as I *run* out the door, just in case there is something or someone out there. Why wait till you know they’re there to bark at them? Molly

Response:

: When mom said she was going to Iowa, I really started my : doggiedanceofjoy. Ohboy, ohboy I though I’d finally get to : meet Sam-I-Am and his family, but NO! Boy Kari, don’t they know that we get to GO! Mama took Mica to Memphis and left me an Princess behind to starve. whine pout. —

Response:

Do you have a spot in your yard where your mommy can’t see you at all? I do, behind the garage. So, when mom opens the door, I get there as fast as I can without my tags jingling. So, mom can’t find me with just a light. HAHAHA, I make her find some shoes and get her coat on and come out to find me. If she’d try that ricecake trick, I’d probably come right away. Kari _ _ n______/U " /" U______n | |/ /| | | |-___| | | |___-| | |_| |_| |_| |_| and Kathy Leggitt

Response:

Gee, all you guys are brave dogs. It is hard when you are shy to bark a lot, but I am getting better. I don’t really like to bark very much, but sometimes it is good. The GSD next door really scares me. Mama says she is zooberant. I don’t know what that means, but she jumps and barks and lunges. It used to terrify me. Mama says she hasn’t been properly socialized (just like me, but she’s not shy) with other dogs. I can get her barking real good. I go up to her front door and give one WOOF. She goes berserk, so I leave and as I go, I give one parting WOOF. There is an little black dog next door. She barks and barks. I’m not ‘fraid of her. She’s little. Sometimes she gets out and trys to come into my yard or Mama’s garden. Ha! I show her. I jump up and chase her back to her yard. She barks and barks, but I don’t bark. Sara, the shy mastiff hoomans, please, don’t look me in the eyes. — the first woman God ever made was strong enough to turn the world upside down all alone – Sojourner Truth, 1851 YOU can make a difference.

Response:

Do you have a spot in your yard where your mommy can’t see you at all?

I don’t need a spot in the yard – I blend in with my bed! If Mom wakes up in the middle of the night and looks down, she has to stare to see if I’m there. Last night she thought I wasn’t, but there I was! She’s gonna make a green and purple polka dot cover for it. Bleah. Katie with an E

Response:

Do you have a spot in your yard where your mommy can’t see you at all?

I have *lots* of places in the yard that Mommy can’t find me right away, including under the flat tree!! Winter and I both like to go under the flat tree. If she’d try that ricecake trick, I’d probably come right away.

We taught Mommy how to give us a piece of freeze-dried chicken liver!!! Usually we come right away for her when she whistles, but sometimes we don’t, but she got an other whistle that she keeps by the door… it’s different from her whistle. We taught her *really* fast that if she blows that whistle, we’ll come sit right in front of her wherever she is and she has to give us each a piece of liver T-R-E-A-T!!! Now all we have to do is teach her how to blow that other whistle more often! -Chloe (who, unbeknownst to her, is learning off-lead long recalls from out of sight

Response:

Do you have a spot in your yard where your mommy can’t see you at all?

Well, yesterday, I went to my spot where mom can’t find me at all, and I found the best thing: dad had been poking around there that morning, and he left a gaping hole in the fence. I got to see what’s on the other side of the garage and I jumped all over it. (Note from Kathy: My husband’s restored MGB with very muddy paws, and Kari’s already on thin ice as far as he’s concerned) Mom opened the back door and called me, but I couldn’t come to where she was, cuz I was on the other side of fence, and I didn’t think about going back through. Then she came out and searched all over for me and called and called. I gave myself away eventually when I decided I really wanted to go to mom and my tags jingled. So, she came to the other side of fence and got me. She seemed kinda happy and mad at the same time, and then I had to stay in the house while she went out and worked on fence. Oh, well, it was good while it lasted. Kari and Kathy Leggitt

Response:

Do you have a spot in your yard where your mommy can’t see you at all? Well, yesterday, I went to my spot where mom can’t find me at all, and I found the best thing: dad had been poking around there that morning, and he left a gaping hole in the fence. I got to see what’s on the other side of the garage and I jumped all over it. (Note from Kathy: My husband’s restored MGB with very muddy paws, and Kari’s already on thin ice as far as he’s concerned)

Kari, It’s not your fault. My boy bought ka-moon-yon bread and left it on the counter. An-et (stoopid cat, but not so stoopid this time) ate it while he was sleeping. My boy was pretty upset. Mama thought it was funny and said "It was God’s will." My boy said "An-et was an agent of the devil. This ka-moon-yon bread is serious stuff." Mama laughed. An-et, fran-key, and I got to finish off the ka-moon-yon bread. It was good stuff. Mama says that my boy should know better than to leave something like that where one of hte sweet babies can reach it. I don’t think An-et is a sweet baby. Sara, the shy mastiff hoomins, please, don’t look me in the eyes — the first woman God ever made was strong enough to turn the world upside down all alone – Sojourner Truth, 1851 YOU can make a difference.

Response:

Sara, the shy mastiff hoomins, please, don’t look me in the eyes

Okay, I have to ask…what does Sara do if someone looks her in the eyes? — "Although it is not true that all conservatives are stupid people…it is true that most stupid people are conservative." – John Stuart Mill

Response:

Okay, I have to ask…what does Sara do if someone looks her in the

eyes? I’ve been wondering too. I can just imagine this huge mastiff fainting.

Response:

Okay, I have to ask…what does Sara do if someone looks her in the eyes? I’ve been wondering too. I can just imagine this huge mastiff fainting.

Well, it’s prety close to that. Sara is a submissive/fearful dog. She spent about 8 months in a kennel ( ~8 weeks old to 10 months) with almost no stimulation. She had another mastiff with her, and I think her owner did a little with her. She was house trained when we got her. Sara was afraid of everything when she came to live with us. It has been a tough year, but it has been worth it. Sara is much better. When we first got Sara, if anyone, dog or hoomin, looked in her eyes, she would act submissive by cowering and peeing. It was lovely, especially in the house. After a rather long month, she stopped peeing for me (she stopped for Robert first), and after about 6 months she stopped peeing for other dogs. After about 9 months, she stopped submissive urination (almost) completely. Sara can now approach other dogs, is, infact, eager to do so, but she still has a hard time with people. She will not allow a stranger to approach her. she will cower and back away. After a little while (down to 20 minutes! YAY!), she will approach a new person from behind, but if you turn around, she will cower and back away. I do not allow situations where she cannot back away. I am pretty sure she would only act more submissive by urinating, but it is too big of a risk that she might act to defend herself. So it is pretty close to her fainting. My poor baby. Some day, tho, you will be able to approach her. She will still be shy, but I hope that she will be strong enough and confident enough to be able to withstand you looking at her. I doubt she will ever be able to meet the eyes of a stranger. And she isn’t a huge mastiff, but a wee bit of a mastiff or a dainty lady at 115 pounds (52 kg). — the first woman God ever made was strong enough to turn the world upside down all alone – Sojourner Truth, 1851 YOU can make a difference.

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi Beavis, Sara, the shy mastiff, here. Abuelo has die-a-beat-ease. Mama is pretty sure that someday she will, too. Abuelo does just fine, nowadays. Mama says it was hard at first because he couldn’t control his blood sugar (What’s blood got to do with sugar, Mama?). It was scary then, but Abuelo learned to live with it. It can be hard. Mama says that there is a big difference between being a pinko commie (does he paint himself pink? or just wear pink clothes?) and being die-a-bet-ick. She says that you choose to be a pinko commie, but that you have no control over having die*. But die* does not have to control your life anymore than wearing glasses does. Mama and my boy both wear glasses all the time. At first it is hard to remember where you put your glasses and it seems like a pain to have to wear them, but they help to make up for eyes that don’t work like new. Die-a-beat-ease is much harder than glasses. Oh, and Mama knows what it is like to be called names for believing in something. She gets called that feminist bitch. I, personally, don’t see what is wrong with being a bitch. I am a very nice bitch, thank you. Sara hoomins, please, don’t look me in the eyes. —

Hoomin Ed talking: I personally *like* feminists…most women I’ve met who deserve the "b" word claim *not* to be feminists and expect men to do *everything* for them just for the privilege of their company and whatever else… keep being a feminist. Regarding the diabetes: I’m on day 2 of my diet…yes, I miss sweet rolls loaded with sugar…but I feel *SO* *MUCH* *BETTER*… I had no idea why I was so tired, why I would have to get up in the middle of the night and scrape out the inside of my mouth with my toothbrush and lots of hot water just to get the mucous out… and last night I had energy for something I usually only did on the weekends any more (hint…involved my wife )… I am very glad to have caught this in time!!! Soon, I will have the energy to start *exercising* again..then I will be all better and healthy. Thanks for sharing your story about Abuelo (grandpa in Espanol for those who didn’t know…) Hope you’re watching your sugar and fat intake and weight to avoid your prediction coming true… wish I had… — The United States ranks 8th in the world regarding average income at $23,000, behind Switzerland, Luxembourg, Japan, Sweden, Denmark, Norway and Iceland. The balance of trade for those nations is in the black rather than the red like ours. They have a greater growth index with far less deficit and debt. Their tax rates are higher. Their unions are stonger. They have national single payer health plans and are far more socialist than we.

Response:

Hi Beavis, Sara, the shy mastiff, here. Abuelo has die-a-beat-ease. Mama is pretty sure that someday she will, too. Abuelo does just fine, nowadays. Mama says it was hard at first because he couldn’t control his blood sugar (What’s blood got to do with sugar, Mama?). It was scary then, but Abuelo learned to live with it. It can be hard. Mama says that there is a big difference between being a pinko commie (does he paint himself pink? or just wear pink clothes?) and being die-a-bet-ick. She says that you choose to be a pinko commie, but that you have no control over having die*. But die* does not have to control your life anymore than wearing glasses does. Mama and my boy both wear glasses all the time. At first it is hard to remember where you put your glasses and it seems like a pain to have to wear them, but they help to make up for eyes that don’t work like new. Die-a-beat-ease is much harder than glasses. Oh, and Mama knows what it is like to be called names for believing in something. She gets called that feminist bitch. I, personally, don’t see what is wrong with being a bitch. I am a very nice bitch, thank you. Sara hoomins, please, don’t look me in the eyes. — the first woman God ever made was strong enough to turn the world upside down all alone – Sojourner Truth, 1851 YOU can make a difference.

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Do you have a spot in your yard where your mommy can’t see you at all? Well, yesterday, I went to my spot where mom can’t find me at all, and I found the best thing: dad had been poking around there that morning, and he left a gaping hole in the fence. I got to see what’s on the other side of the garage and I jumped all over it. (Note from Kathy: My husband’s restored MGB with very muddy paws, and Kari’s already on thin ice as far as he’s concerned) Kari, It’s not your fault. My boy bought ka-moon-yon bread and left it on the counter. An-et (stoopid cat, but not so stoopid this time) ate it while he was sleeping. My boy was pretty upset. Mama thought it was funny and said "It was God’s will." My boy said "An-et was an agent of the devil. This ka-moon-yon bread is serious stuff." Mama laughed.

My boys don’t know about ka-moom-yon bread yet, and my mom’s grandmas are starting to ask why. I don’t know what to tell the grandmas – but I’ll try to remember not to eat it if I ever see it. I know that going to the other side of the fence was not my fault, in fact – I DID IT AGAIN! Lacey the poodle’s mom and dad found me in Frank’s yard two houses away while Lacey was walking them. Lacey and her dad stayed and played with me, and her mom came to get my mom. Mom was even more happy and worried at the same time this time. But, in the absence of any skills with heavy tools, she has again attempted to fix my fence. I haven’t been able to get through again since then. Kari (escape artist extraordinaire) _ _ n______/U " /" U______n | |/ /| | | |-___| | | |___-| | |_| |_| |_| |_| and Kathy Leggitt

Response:

Hi this is Beavis…I’ll be sure to tell my daddy…his parents tried to make him a cat-lick when he was a kid, but he had other ideas…

Hiya, Beavis! This is Winter… My Mommy’s not a cat-lick… she’s a *dog-ma!*. he seems pretty sad today, though…he was telling my mommy that his doctor was calling him names. What is a dye-a-bet-ick?

Hey!!! My Mommy’s one of those, too!! And my Gramma… *and* my Grandpa! But Mommy and Grandpa don’t have to be shot. Gramma does though. Grandpa shoots Gramma *TWO* times *EVERY* day! Mommy has to stick her finger every day, though… and sometimes she has to take a little bitty white treat out of a bottle. And why did daddy get all sad when his doctor called him one?

I dunno… Mommy and Gramma and Grandpa don’t get all sad… but Mommy did worry a couple weeks ago when she got a I-in fection. (But she’s okay.) Tell your daddy not to worry. It’ll be okay. -Winter

Response:

Hey, Beavis, this is Pali. Dyeabetick means that your daddy can’t eat some foods. Well, he can, but they make him sick. His body can’t temabolize right. My mommy’s a borderline dyabetick. I thought for a long time that meant I was a borderline collie, but no. It just means that if Mommy’s not had something to eat for a while, she doesn’t get cranky like Daddy does. No, it means she gets spacy and dizzy and sleepy. That’s when I do my job – I run to the kitchen a lot and make her think about food so she’ll eat something. That, or I’ll go get food out of my bowl and bring it to her. She never eats it, tho. She’s really picky. You gotta watch your daddy real careful and help him eat the right kinds of food. If he doesn’t eat, he can get really sick. If he goes a long time without eating and falls asleep, you gotta go get someone to help him – real quick! Otherwise, your daddy might go to the Bridge before you. Yep, it’s a tough job, but somedoggy’s gotta do it. Pali, on the job, and loving it! Anna Welborne Press on, mi amigo! Press on, mon amie! Notre Dame University When the night hides the light, Philosophy Department And the journey is long, <B Sprague Notre Dame, IN 46556 Tie your shoes, my dear friend. Walk on.

Response:

Hoomin Ed, Mom says you can quote it if you want to. She wants you to know she’s a recovering cat-lick and that she believes in God, but not in religion. katie with an E

Response:

Hoomin Ed, Mom says you can quote it if you want to. She wants you to know she’s a recovering cat-lick and that she believes in God, but not in religion. katie with an E

Hi this is Beavis…I’ll be sure to tell my daddy…his parents tried to make him a cat-lick when he was a kid, but he had other ideas… he seems pretty sad today, though…he was telling my mommy that his doctor was calling him names. What is a dye-a-bet-ick? And why did daddy get all sad when his doctor called him one? He never gets mad when people call him a pinko commie… oh well… here comes daddy with a T*R*E*A*T…guess I’d better stand up on my hind legs… — In January, former vice president Dan Quayle spoke at a training conference of religious-right activists in Fort Lauderdale, whose theme was "Reclaiming America," and before the event began he stood at attention as the crowd of more than two thousand rose, faced a flag with a cross on it, and, with hands on hearts, recited in unison, "I pledge allegiance to the Christian flag, and to the Savior, for whose Kingdom it stands, one Savior, crucified, risen, and coming again, with life and liberty for all who believe."

Response:

My boys don’t know about ka-moom-yon bread yet, and my mom’s grandmas are starting to ask why. I don’t know what to tell the grandmas – Maybe you can tell them that one hour spent snuggling and playing with your puppy on a Sunday morning makes you feel closer to heaven than ten hours in one of those big buildings with all the judgemental people? katie with an E and now a lower case k

Ooooh, that was good…can I quote that? – Ed (I love Jesus but I don’t trust Pat Robertson) Janik — In January, former vice president Dan Quayle spoke at a training conference of religious-right activists in Fort Lauderdale, whose theme was "Reclaiming America," and before the event began he stood at attention as the crowd of more than two thousand rose, faced a flag with a cross on it, and, with hands on hearts, recited in unison, "I pledge allegiance to the Christian flag, and to the Savior, for whose Kingdom it stands, one Savior, crucified, risen, and coming again, with life and liberty for all who believe."

Response:

My boys don’t know about ka-moom-yon bread yet, and my mom’s grandmas are starting to ask why. I don’t know what to tell the grandmas –

Maybe you can tell them that one hour spent snuggling and playing with your puppy on a Sunday morning makes you feel closer to heaven than ten hours in one of those big buildings with all the judgemental people? katie with an E and now a lower case k

Response:

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