Activism Change

Question: Integration

Question:

I am sending this from my therapist’s office. I have a lot of questions regarding integration.  Inside I feel like it will be a total take over of the outside self and that is not OK. I don’t want to loose the ability to leave, or cry or rage. My therapist thinks it is cooperation and not a take over but I’m not sure I agree with that theory. What do you think integration is?? Have you experienced it?? What was the outcome if you have??

Response:

I am sending this from my therapist’s office. I have a lot of questions regarding integration.  Inside I feel like it will be a total take over of the outside self and that is not OK. I don’t want to loose the ability to leave, or cry or rage. My therapist thinks it is cooperation and not a take over but I’m not sure I agree with that theory. What do you think integration is?? Have you experienced it?? What was the outcome if you have??

Dear Michael, Nancy and whoever else You have a pretty amazing therapist if you are seeing them on a Saturday! Hope that signifies availability, committment to healing, skill…. Here’s how I think of this issue (and I *am* opinionated…): The goal we should have is to have good day to day function. Work. Relationships. Ability to relax and have fun. Freedom from fear, from intrusive memories, from flashbacks. Well, there’s more, of course, but you get the idea. The goal is *healing* and *health* To that end, for those of us who are DID/MP, we must find some new balance in our systems. I mean to say that, for myself, I ended up in therapy because my system was *not* coping. And most of us have the same reason to seek therapy. But I think it is an error to have a specific goal, like int*gr*tion, for our therapy. It’s an over-simplification, a mistake, or maybe for some, an out-an-out harmful thing to focus on. I don’t know you or your therapist; but co-operation *could* be taken to mean that all one’s alters and parts survive and become a synergistic family. On the other hand, co-operation could just be a euphemism (conscious or subconscious) for a "takeover". <Grin I guess you can figure what I think about the options There’s a lot more that I think about this topic, but from here out I think it all applies to my own journey and how I’m looking for heaing, how I have come to terms with my selves, and so forth. So I’ll stop here I go pretty directly into matriarchy versus patriarchy, feminism versus paternalism, and all that is definitely *my* stuff. Unrelated to your question. Hope these words help. Be safe, Eudora  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * *   Tears can make a river to take you somewhere new.   *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

Response:

Hi. I have the same questions you have. My therapist describes it as not losing the others, merely drawing them in closer, a description I like. But, like you, I’m not sure yet that integration is for me. I would like to think healing can be accomplished without integration, that these wonderful alters who have come to mean so much to me can continue to be a part of my life for as long as I live. I have come to think of them as very noble persons, given the fact they all came in to being to allow me to survive. I don’t want to be shed of their companionship and support. It is not always easy living as a multiple, as you know. I have been fortunate the past couple of years to have become co-concious, and while it is still difficult living "in committee", it is also very rewarding in many ways. I am constantly being surprised, sometimes happily, sometimes not, by the differing ideas and talents of the others inside. But life is never dull, and I believe we function on a much higher plane than most people, and certainly people with SPD (single personality disorder! a joke my therapist told me, and one to which I cling!!! We’ve all met those people, right?!) I hope whicheveromfortable, and most importantly, in no way will have felt coerced into making it. As in all things, timing is everything. Please don’t ever allow yourself to be pushed into integration in order to "please" someone else, (a problem I think most multiples have experienced.) Please keep reminding yourself that nothing has to be decided today. You can decide for intergration today, tomorrow, or 50 years from now, or you can live your life happily as separate, but cooperative individuals. You have all the power, you have all the choices. Hope this has helped. I will be thinking of you. M.E.

Response:

Filed under: Feminism

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