Dieter's Prayer
Question:
What a cute prayer. Although, I don’t think the low-carbers would agree. <g Thank you for sharing it! — Pat More people violently oppose fur than leather because it’s easier to harass rich women than bikers. Feminism is the radical notion that women are people.
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -The Dieters Prayer Lord, My Soul is ripped with riot Incited by my wicked diet. "We Are What We Eat" said a wise old man! and, Lord, if that’s true, I’m a garbage can. I want to rise on Judgment Day, that’s plain! but at my present weight, I’ll need a crane. So grant me strength, that I may not fall into the clutches of cholesterol. May my flesh with carrot-curls be dated, that my soul may be poly unsaturated And show me the light, that I may bear witness to the President’s Council on Physical Fitness. And at oleomargarine I’ll never mutter, for the road to Hell is spread with butter. And cream is cursed; and cake is awful; and Satan is hiding in every waffle. Mephistopheles lurks in provolone; The Devil is in each slice of baloney, Beelzebub is a chocolate drop, and Lucifer is a lollipop. Give me this day my daily slice but, cut it thin and toast it twice. I beg upon my dimpled knees, Deliver me from jujubees. And when my days of trial are done, and my war with malted milk is won, Let me stand with Heavenly throng, In a shining robe- Size 30 long. I can do it Lord, If You’ll show to me, the virtues of lettuce and celery. If You’ll teach me the evil of mayonnaise, of pasta a-la Milannaise potatoes a- la Lyonnaise and crisp-fried chicken from the South. Lord, if you love me, shut my mouth. Author Unknown (Life of diets for 1999) Christy 
Response:
The Dieters Prayer – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Lord, My Soul is ripped with riot Incited by my wicked diet. "We Are What We Eat" said a wise old man! and, Lord, if that’s true, I’m a garbage can. I want to rise on Judgment Day, that’s plain! but at my present weight, I’ll need a crane. So grant me strength, that I may not fall into the clutches of cholesterol. May my flesh with carrot-curls be dated, that my soul may be poly unsaturated And show me the light, that I may bear witness to the President’s Council on Physical Fitness. And at oleomargarine I’ll never mutter, for the road to Hell is spread with butter. And cream is cursed; and cake is awful; and Satan is hiding in every waffle. Mephistopheles lurks in provolone; The Devil is in each slice of baloney, Beelzebub is a chocolate drop, and Lucifer is a lollipop. Give me this day my daily slice but, cut it thin and toast it twice. I beg upon my dimpled knees, Deliver me from jujubees. And when my days of trial are done, and my war with malted milk is won, Let me stand with Heavenly throng, In a shining robe- Size 30 long. I can do it Lord, If You’ll show to me, the virtues of lettuce and velery. If You’ll teach me the evil of mayonnaise, of pasta a-la Milannaise potatoes a- la Lyonnaise and crisp-fried chicken from the South. Lord, if you love me, shut my mouth. Author Unknown (Life of diets for 1999)
Christy
Response:
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