Activism Change

I just lost my job…….

Question:

or better my position as a supervisor.

So sorry HappyPolarbear. Oh well what a nice society there is no room for mentall ill people like me, cause that’s how I feel like right now. Why do I have to be BP? There goes me feeling stable for two weeks, having finally gotten some hope that with meds I can get better and can return to work and have a normal life…. puffff all this is gone. now.  I want to go in my bed and hide under covers and cry and cry…

There will be more opportunities. I know that Nancy doesn’t agree with me, but personally I wouldn’t tell an employer that you are bipolar. They can always find some excuse not to employ you.

Response:

First, you have nothing to feel guilty over.  As for regrets…well, I can’t tell you how often I’ve cursed this rotten "disorder".  That phrase sounds way too mild, to tell you the truth.  "Disorder", sounds like something that is a mild inconvenience instead of something that can destroy lives.  Right now, however, is not the time to kick yourself.  I don’t know if you have any legal options.  But I doubt that you did the wrong thing telling your boss what was wrong with you.  I’m betting that he would have hired a permanent replacement if he hadn’t known exactly what was wrong.  Management hates uncertainty, and doesn’t like having positions filled temporarily. You did what you had to do.  You’re in survivial mode right now, fighting to get healthy.  That is your only really important priority.  Seriously.  Jobs come and go, but your life, your physical and mental health, your family, all depend on you getting better.  Most bipolar people are able to work at productive jobs. Sometimes compromises have to be made, though.  Hang in there.  You are getting better.  You will have a "normal" life (whatever that means – look around – there are a lot of different types of "normal"). You can deal with this. And keep in mind that there are two types of emotional disturbance for bp’ers.  There is the mood-disorder induced stuff, and there are "real" emotions resulting from outside stimuli. Don’t assume that the real disappointment/anger you are feeling will set you back emotionally.  It all really depends on how you respond to it.  You can give up and decide that you are a failure, or you can decide that you are going to fight to regain your equilibrium and show that idiot that you can go back to work and be as good an employee as you were before.  If you can quit smoking and stay quit in the middle of all this, I’m betting that you have what it takes to do the latter. I read something in a bipolar journal shortly after I was diagnosed.  They were talking about activism, and they commented that the most important thing a bp’er who wanted to set a good example could do was to get and stay as stable as possible, to set an example.  I’ve always remembered that.  You can show your boss that you are as good as before.  But first you have to get stable. You’ve been on a rough ride, but you are doing really well. Hang in there. Diane

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – or better my position as a supervisor. so much for trying to get back on my feeds. I just called my boss to let him know that I have to see my doc next Friday and she still did not let me get back to work.  But that I was hopping to be back within the next 2 weeks. I started to look forward to go back to work soon. My boss then informed me that he had hired a new supervisor and asked me to call head office for an interview once I am fit to work. I trusted my boss and was stupid enough to tell him what kind of illness I had right from the beginning. Now he is worried that I could loose it at work when I return, I could snap at guards e.t.c…… Hence, insteadt of hiring a back up supervisor two month ago when I got sick,  he hired at the end of last week a full time supervisor simply replacing me. Oh well what a nice society there is no room for mentall ill people like me, cause that’s how I feel like right now. Why do I have to be BP? Why was something different in me two month ago when I attempted suicide, Why did I have to trust my boss and be honest? So many quetions and no answer. I hate it. I hate that illness. So much for the purpose of my life. I hate life and everything. I wished I never was born then I never could have screwed up my life so much in the first place. sorry I sound so out of it, but I can’t even describe what I am feeling right now. I feel so bitter and full of guilty feelings and regrets.  I I don’t know what I am supposed to to feel. There goes me feeling stable for two weeks, having finally gotten some hope that with meds I can get better and can return to work and have a normal life…. puffff all this is gone. now.  I want to go in my bed and hide under covers and cry and cry… thanks for listening to my rambling PolarBear

Response:

or better my position as a supervisor. so much for trying to get back on my feeds. I just called my boss to let him know that I have to see my doc next Friday and she still did not let me get back to work.  But that I was hopping to be back within the next 2 weeks. I started to look forward to go back to work soon. My boss then informed me that he had hired a new supervisor and asked me to call head office for an interview once I am fit to work. I trusted my boss and was stupid enough to tell him what kind of illness I had right from the beginning. Now he is worried that I could loose it at work when I return, I could snap at guards e.t.c…… Hence, insteadt of hiring a back up supervisor two month ago when I got sick,  he hired at the end of last week a full time supervisor simply replacing me. Oh well what a nice society there is no room for mentall ill people like me, cause that’s how I feel like right now. Why do I have to be BP? Why was something different in me two month ago when I attempted suicide, Why did I have to trust my boss and be honest? So many quetions and no answer. I hate it. I hate that illness. So much for the purpose of my life. I hate life and everything. I wished I never was born then I never could have screwed up my life so much in the first place. sorry I sound so out of it, but I can’t even describe what I am feeling right now. I feel so bitter and full of guilty feelings and regrets.  I I don’t know what I am supposed to to feel. There goes me feeling stable for two weeks, having finally gotten some hope that with meds I can get better and can return to work and have a normal life…. puffff all this is gone. now.  I want to go in my bed and hide under covers and cry and cry… thanks for listening to my rambling PolarBear

Response:

Filed under: Activism

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